The new school year has started and my son is refusing to attend. He gets angry when we try to talk about it. I am ready to let the legal system take action against him. He had the chance to do most of his work on-line and he doesn't do much of that either. If he truly wanted to avoid school then one would think he would work on-line instead to avoid the school attendance. Instead he does little to nothing.

We took away his phone and he is having a temper tantrum kicking furniture and throwing things around the house. I am ready to call the police.

Oh dear Terskac - this is not good news. How did things turn out after you sent the post? I hope you didn't have to call the police?

Your son really does sound like someone whose depression is making it impossible for him to be motivated to do anything. This must be so hard for you to know what direction to take.
Just remember - he actually can't help the way he feels. I know it drives us insane...and we just want them to start thinking rationally and do things, which to us, seem to straight forward and easy to get done and out of the way.
Is your son still on medication? I know you were trialling different ones. is he able to take on any regular cognitive behaviour therapy? How old his he now?
There is an on-line cognitive behaviour therapy help site that you might want to show him - and tell him that it has been found to be very successful with young people like him who find it hard to engage with others 'at the moment'.
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome

Starting a brand new school would have been a tough call - and I am sorry to hear he couldn't face it. But it also still isn't the end of the world or road....your son has engaged on a couple of things with you lately - including the trip you took with him. So he might need some more of that kind of thing for his self esteem before he can feel any motvation. And perhaps he genuinely believed he would be able to access the new school - so didn't bother about on-line work. And then when he couldn't face it - he probably feels terrible - and so still can't be motivated.
Anger is the only way they can show their frustration....they don't mean to thrash out like they do.
I hope things have calmed down at your end. How are you feeling?
take care
Linda

He managed to go to a school meeting about him this morning. It was under threat of legal action that finally got him out of bed. The staff was kind to him and did their best to persuade him to start coming to school even if he doesn't go to any classrooms. I made it clear that they are not to pressure him to attend and classrooms at least at first. Let him cope with coming to the school and working with a tutor. That is is best chance at getting back to normal. He told them that he feels that school is a hopeless waste of time because he always manages to get behind in his work and feel overwhelmed. The staff got to see his face and expressions so I think they can tell that he is miserable. His tutor showed him the quiet workspaces he has access to if he needs it. He promised them he would be there tomorrow. Let's see what happens.

I managed to get him out of bed and into school today. He lasted two hours. Our goal was one hour! He was happy with how it went and says he will be back tomorrow.

Crossing our fingers.

Well done to your son. That is great. There might be some steps forward and backwards but if the school can create an environment he feels ok about then you might find your son's spirits lifting. I do hope so.
Good luck
Linda

He couldn't go this morning. He says his stomach hurts and his head hurts too much. We have a long weekend
and those usually set him back again too. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that he couldn't go today but I am disappointed. I always get my hopes up too high and I just don't know what to do to help other than what I have been doing for years.

It's a slow process, isn't it. I sometimes think they need a day to get their head around what they have faced as a challenge beforehand - only trouble is - that day can turn into further days. We also have trouble after long weekends.
Lower your hopes and expectations as much as you can - and he might then also feel the pressure is off a bit. Its hard for us not to show our disappointment but I know from my own son - that it then makes them feel so guilty that they are unable to actually get there. Vicious circle that you are familiar with. Step back - see what happens...good luck
Linda