school refusers


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School Refusal
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A good week

HI everyone,

We have had a bit of a rocky road this term - and I think our winter weather has had something to do with it. He has been so unmotivated and so it got harder and harder to get to school - and then he got a cold - off for a week as he couldn't get motivated to get better to get back. Finally....we had one full week of school and he ended on a positive note.
WE had a couple of very shaky mornings where it looked like he wouldn't get there - telling me to keep driving around (lucky he had got in the car)....and when I refused and pulled up at the school I got an ear full of swearing (which he later apologised for).

The best day turned out to be one of these days he had a shaky morning. He had Food Tech (cooking) and he had managed to avoid all prac classes in cooking so far in the term - so this was the first. He got to class late. At the end of the day, however, - his smile said it all - and under his arm - a box full of biscuits that he'd baked. It was the first time ever that I have seen him go to school - do/create something that he could then bring home and be proud of.

The next day was a free dress day (or dress as your favourite football team). He usually never goes on these days or goes in his uniform..hates the idea he might not be dressed right. But to my utter surprise, he got up...said he was dressing in his favourite team jumper (and a team that has been under media scrutiny for taking drugs recently and has been banned from the finals). I was worried the other kids would give him a hard time so Was very surprised he was doing this. At the end of he day he said some kids had said a few bad things to him about his team and drugs but he didn't care (first time I have heard him say something like this).
I wonder - is it the good weather we are having this week - spring already in the air? Is it the increase of medication up to 2 tabs? Is it just that he faced all his challenges this week? I doubt I have the answer - but just to those of you struggling - I never thought I'd see a week like this week - and yet it happened. So there is always hope : )

And one other thing that came out positive was a parent information evening I attended for his year 9 level next year. Recently I had been told by my son's coordinator that basically he didn't think my son could cope with the special 'challenging' Year 9 program and so we should perhaps look at sending him to another school. I found this upsetting and was quite shocked that they would just dismiss him like this . But when I went to the information evening and spoke to the person who runs the special program at this level (they do quite a lot of community based work and challenges to keep the kids motivated) she said that she felt he would in fact cope in whatever way he could and the teacher's were close to the kids so he'd have more support. She also said that they have 2-3 school refusal students go through the program each year and they cope as best they can and some do well...and golden to my ears...she said 'don't worry - you are not alone - your son is not the only one with school refusal." This is the first time any teacher has ever said this to me...and I went home feeling very positive. Amazing what a few words can do.

Good luck for the start of your term. I'll be thinking of you - its a rocky road - but we pick our way round the obstacles as best we can. Don't forget to take some time out for yourselves...
Take care
Linda

Re: A good week

Hi Linda, i havent been on here for a while as my laptop has been broken due to one of my little darlings spilling a drink in it, so was really pleased to read your recent post that your son had a good week at school and things seem to be a bit better for you both.

How has he been this week? I agree it is so reassuring to learn that others in the same area are also having these problems, it makes you feel not so alone.

Great news about year 9, that seems very positive info that the school have given you, i hope it all works out for him, when is he due to go into this year has he chosen options or do u not have that there.

How were the biscuits did he try his own cooking my daughter never eats what she made and normally its not very edible so well done to him, has he been back into that lesson and made anything else.

Jo xx