Hi everyone

You'd think after all these years I'd be able to tell if my son is really ill in a morning or not - but it sill remains a mystery. When they feel like throwing up - 99% of the time its anxiety. When they feel faint and 'awful' - 99% its anxiety. But getting them to connect the two is a life long business it seems.
I just dropped my 'ill' son off at school - annoyed that he thinks lacking sleep is going to have no impact on his overall mental and physical health. He complained of feeling like throwing up, headache...but I've heard it before - last week in fact. So I tuned out and told him to go to school nurse if he still felt like that.
I get home....already a message on my phone....from the school nurse. Your son is not well - could you come and pick him up. We have conversation and she thinks that his paleness and lack of any energy indicates he is not well.
I have no idea but tell her I'll come and pick him up soon. Drives me batty. I think if my son was suffering a severe illness - I'd always think it was anxiety....I just never know - been down that road too many times. But what can you do!? If I force him to stay at school - he might genuinely be ill.....and he is going to have a bad day anyway if he stays - which will effect tomorrow. So we are caught in a bind every time, aren't we. I am sure many of you know this situation well.
Off to pick him up now- he lasted 25 minutes and never got to class : (
Hope your days are reasonably smooth sailing. I can't complain - at least I get him there mostly...just wish it would get so much smoother rather than such an effort.
Take care and hope the weekend coming up gives you all a break
Linda

Big sigh here!

Are we being feeble in not telling them to get on with it? We know that there are many times we get on with it when not feeling well, so why shouldn't our children?

But also we have to do that caring bit! So, no answer for you here, Linda, except to tell you that I share your frustration. Hope the day turned out OK?

Are your family all OK with the fires? big concerns for Aussies here.

Simon

Hi Simon

Thanks for your words. He didn't make it to school today either - same 'illness'? Booked in to see doctor later. If my son would study and work at home - my frustration would ease a bit - but he is so stubborn on that front.

Thanks for asking about the fires. We are a long way from them this time (I'm down in Melbourne) but they are just awful and its not summer yet. It was 2009 that we had the tragedy closer to home with so many lives lost in fires. It is just so awful that some of these fires were deliberately lit - by disgruntled or mentally impaired teenagers!

Take care - hope all is well as you head into the cold months at your end...
Linda

hi Linda
oh i can well understand the feelings you describe.
the 'i'm feeling sick going to throw up' being said to me so often when i was failing to get my daughter to school.

when i first started hearing it, i genuinely believed her, but when a short while at home would see instant recovery i started to realise it couldn't be possible everytime.

why they do it, i really wish i knew.
it's behind me now because i removed her from school and she did start studying at home.
she will go on to college, she wants to herself, but whatever damaged was caused by the bullying she experienced has lodged deep doen and it's taking a lot of work to correct.
but, she is , like all our children, well worth it.
sorry to hear things are hard at the moment, and i wish your son well.

glad you're not affected by those fires, but sad your lovely countrymen are experiencing them.
take care.

Hi Linda - went through this again last week. DD went to bed Sunday night only to re appear a couple of hours later complaining of severe stomach pain. Ok so it's Sunday night so has to be anxiety right??? Sent her back to bed with panadol and hot wheat bag. Monday morning I was greeted with "I haven't slept all night from the pain - she is doubled over, asking for more pain relief and I am still thinking, this is anxiety.... Left her at home with older daughter with strict instructions for her to ring me if it got any worse thinking it would be all over by lunchtime. Lunchtime the call comes "mum please take me to a doctor".
The guilt sets in as I get her to doctor who says yes she has a slight temp and obvious stomach upset, diagnosis Gastro. She was unwell 2 days and on Wednesday the milking it started. Could have gone to school but "not quite well enough yet". Why do they always get an actual illness just when things are slightly improving? We are back on the wagon again with a week of Year 10 exams.

Hi Sandy

Oh yes - I know that feeling so well of 'not quite ready to go back' after illness. This is also why we don't believe they are ill I think. I am still not convinced my son was ill last week - but I did take him to the doctor - and the doctor decided the medicine needed to be reduced...but then this morning (same day as last week) - my son felt like throwing up again this morning. I told him he'd just have to push through today - as it would not be possible that he was sick the same day two weeks in a row unless it was connected to anxiety. He said he didnt' feel he was worried about anything...and I can believe him - but anxiety is just the 'what if' and maybe as he felt sick three weeks ago - it triggers warning bells in his head - what if I do feel sick again - and so he does feel sick? Who knows - but I do hope your daughter got back to school eventually as you had progressed so well. Maybe we just have to accept that this will always happen - makes it hard for us -a as we have to be vigilant about getting them back - but they just have to, don't they. All the best Sandy....hope your daughter is back on track.
Thanks
Linda