My son has attempted to kill himself rather than go to school or face prosecution. It was a serious attempt. He is back in the hospital. To him death is the best alternative. He is in the hospital again where at least he is safe. I have no idea what will happen now but I will no longer let the authorities try bullying him back to school. They were warned by the hospital psychiatrist 6 months ago that this was a bad idea and would likely make him worse. I feel horrible that I went along with this plan but I really had no alternative. The doctor reviewed his letter to the school from six months ago and everything he predicted came true.

Hopefully I can find him the help that he needs and eventually an education too.

Just so sorry to hear about this. Your son must be felt so shocking and no way out.
Your son's health is the most important thing - school doesn't matter. He'll find some kind of education or skill some how some day - but its not for him now. He needs no pressure. Hope the hospital can come up with an alternative plan that doesn't involve school.
Stay strong - your son needs to know he has not failed anyone or anything. He cannot help how he feels - but there must be something the hospital can recommend to help him regain his own strength of mind.
Take care and all the best for your sons recovery,
Linda

So very sorry to hear your son is so low as to attempt suicide, you must be so very very worried about him Terksac. I hope school authorities now back off and give your son and you time to heal and for him to take steps in the future at his own pace and not theirs. You and your son are in my thoughts. I hope he feels the pressure is taken off him now re school. Clarity

terksac
i'm so sorry your son attempted suicide.
how frightened and upset he must have felt to attempt this.
school must be left for now. as Linda said, there will be other opportunities to get an education.
his life and mental health are of the utmost importance.
my thoughts are with you and your family in this tough time.
take care.

I am so sorry to hear about your son and so glad he was found in time as the others have said there is nothing now more important than getting him well and looking forward. He will get there i am sure and you have done your best, as parents all we can do is try and hope that one day all our kids worries and fears will go away

Take care Terskac and look after yourself.

Sue

I have just found this site and read your post, how devastating. I am sure you will be aware of your right to deregister your son from school, if you are in the UK. School isn't important, loving life life is. Wishing you both all the best x

Terskac

How are things now? Is your son still being looked after by the hospital? And how are you? Is there someone you can talk to - does the hospital provide counselling for the parents as well? You need to take some time out for just you.
Thinking of you at this time and hoping that your son is getting the care he needs.
Linda

Janey -how is your son going?
Linda

He is home now and feeling better now that the pressure isn't so bad. We are going to visit another school that
supposedly specializes in helping kids suffering from anxiety and depression. We are hopeful but not too excited.

Good to hear.
Do you think holding off any school might be the best option at the moment - or is that not an option for you?
All the best
Linda

My thoughts and prayers are with you both. This must be a terrible time for you, so take it slow and easy.

Simon

We got permission from our school administration to visit a therapeutic school. We visited there today and he seemed to leave with a positive attitude. He said we wants to get better and get an education. The director was nearly in tears as were we.

Hi I was so sorry to read about your son my heart goes out to you. Take care of yourselves xy

The modern/archaic education system has a lot to learn. It makes me mad that things have to reach such a drastic point before authorities will sit up and take notice. From my own experience and reading the experiences of others here, the 'support steps' educational authorities have put in place for our SR children play the biggest part in exacerbating their anxiety and trauma, as well as viewing it a some kind of weakness that needs punishment. Many of the steps chosen by authorities are those that would be used with a defiant or delinquent child, this is not the problem with SR children and the difference between bad behaviour and anxiety/depression needs to be recognised sooner rather than later.

All the signs were there that your son suffered extreme anxiety regarding school and needed support and a therapeutic approach long before he attempted to take his own life. I am mad reading your experiences, I can only imagine how you feel, although I imagine relief that your son is safe is your biggest emotion at the moment. When you get mad, just know you can share your feelings here amongst those who understand.

Thank goodness your son can now try the therapeutic school, the director sounds like a very compassionate person and that will go a long way in earning your son's trust in his abilities.

Thinking of you and your family.

Hi Clarity

My thoughts exactly. We all seem to face the same kind of wall when it comes to how school authorities and others view our child's behaviour. Until this changes - our poor sons/daughters are going to be pushed in ways that just set them back.

How are things with your son, Terskac?
Linda

I couldn't have said it better. sr children are viewed as being 'bold' and just skipping school.

Few people in authority really seem to get what's happening to these children to cause them to react the way they do.

Terskac, I hope your son is recovering and getting his strength back.

Take care

Virginia

He went to the therapeutic school on Thursday for what they call a shadow day. He got to follow another student around for the day. He actually went to all the classes. He is looking forward to school this week for the first time in years. He says the school just feels better. He knows the other kids have problems like he does. Many of them worse. The kids there were actually pretty happy to be there. It was Halloween and many kids wore costumes. At his other school this would have been frowned upon. The mood was happy and rowdy. I hope his optimism remains and that this is the place for him. He can attend half days only for a while or he can go as long as he likes. It is up to him and the school will accommodate him and work with him to get better. I know there are kids that still fail in this setting but even if that happens there are still a few other options to try.

Terskac - I really hope this works for your son. It sounds like a good school. Can you gives us some more info on the type of school it is? Is it just set up for kids with problems with attending 'other' schools? Do they have more 'welfare' oriented staff? Is it a small school? Just curious to know what and why and how such a school comes to be in existence and why even yourself was not notified of this kind of school much earlier.
Not sure if we have the same thing here or in the UK - but again - hard to get onto the right schools sometimes.
All the best - and hope your son can ease himself into the setting.
Linda

hi terskac

that school sounds interesting.
how did you find out about it? when the issues with your son first started, i would have thought someone in authority would have pointed you in this direction instead of putting your son through so much upset.

i'm glad he's happy here and hope it continues. sounds like it has a good atmosphere and attitude.

take care.

virginia

Hi Terskac
Am so sad that your poor son felt so desperate that he tried to end his life. It must be horrendous for you and your family, I send my heartfelt sympathies and pray you all find strength to go forward.
Wish I had a magic formula for all of you on this site that could help our children face their fears!

Try to stay strong and I wish you a safe and happier life path.
Regards
Gerry

It's good to hear that your son is so far having positive experiences at his new school. The understanding, patience and compassion of the therapeutic school is most likely the missing key. The traditional school system has an awful lot to learn.

I hope things continue to improve for your son, you and your family.