school refusers

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School Refusal
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Proud of him

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to share how proud I felt of my son this morning. Our schools went back today down here. As you know - my son was dreading going back (so was I). These last few days he has seemed calm - perhaps subdued - but not angry like in the past - and not over emotional.

We had to go in yesterday to meet his new form/pastoral care teacher (who also takes them for English,History and Geography) in this new Year 9 program (aimed to keep kids from getting too bored at school).
I felt that they might just notice my son a bit more this year and perhaps look out for him. She told him that he could email her any time of the day if he was feeling he couldn't cope. She also suggested that if he couldn't cope coming back for full days - to start with just an hour and build up. She said he could do the same if he felt he had trouble during the year. This is the first time anyone has suggested this - so I was impressed.
No information had been passed on from last year, however. So she had no idea that my son has School Refusal. So we will have to explain, yet again , to all teachers , the issue. Ho hum....what's new!

Anyway - this morning - as he faced his first actual 'school' day - and a full day - my son got up on time and although he said his tummy was jumping around - he got there! I am just so proud of him.
Even more so - because we found out yesterday that they have put him in a new form where he knows no-one! Nothing surprises me anymore. I requested that he be with at least one friend or at least another student from his class. None. But...there are only 14 of them in this small group and they meet every Wednesday to do group projects - so perhaps it is his chance to make better friends and also perhaps they put students more like himself in the group. Who knows! We will find out. The rest of his timetable is 'normal' subjects with larger classes and he has two electives. They also have a camp this term - but I have told my son that if he wants to go - that is fine and I will support him to go - but if he doesn't want to go - that is also fine.

Before he went today - I asked him to come up with a suggestion if 1) he didn't know who to sit next to 2) he couldn't find his friends at lunch time and 3) he felt he wasn't coping. He seemed to feel better after coming up with solutions to those three major things.

We will just have to see how the year starts. My fingers are crossed that he has an ok two days this week - so that he can face a full week next week.
Take care everyone - and go and make yourself a cuppa and do something nice for yourself today - you all deserve it - this is certainly a rocky road...and we are all doing our best as parents and we should try and not let others tell us otherwise.

Re: Proud of him


These are huge steps forward for your son, and even though info wasn't passed on yet again, this new teacher and the group itself sound more supportive and understanding. From what you describe it sounds like the pressure that has been there in the past has gone and if your son isn't feeling that expectation riding on him, perhaps he will find it easier to take more steps forward.

What a relief it must be for you too to see this progress and to finally have found better support & understanding from this school.

What a great start to the school year, I hope he keeps going from strength to strength.