a resource for parents
Have any of your sons/daughters managed to go on school camps?
We have one coming up in two weeks and my son said he can't face it - and I completely understand. But just curious as to whether anyone else has found going on a camp (whether at primary or secondary school) a negative or positive experience for anxiety and school refusal?
The last one my son went on - full of tears - was in grade 4. He came back very angry and said he never wanted to go on one again as it was too stressful. The teacher's, however, said that the coped really well and participated in all events. My guess is that he felt he had to - and bottled in his fear and anxiety for the three days. Others don't see this. So from my point of view- the camp never helped anyway and there are just some things that are too big a challenge for those suffering this kind of anxiety. Would you agree?
Hi Linda - we have had a mixed response with camps. Some DD has really enjoyed and others....not so much. A lot depends on the venue, food, which friends are going and if she is in the "right" room. Another thing I have found is that when I pick her up after camps, she will complain about everything and say it was "terrible" but then in the coming weeks, begins to describe all the fun she had. It makes them even more tired than the average child I think. There have been a couple that she has refused to attend at all. I just leave it up to her now whether she wants to go or not - it is totally not worth the stress if they are not comfortable.
It's funny but my daughter never had an issue with anything until the start of her second year in secondary school.
it was only in October that year I found out how her two 'best friends' had been treating her, and when I removed her from second year the school refusal was in full swing.
Up to that summer she was a most confident lovely kind girl.
The lovely, kind bits never went away but the confidence took such a knock.
She had always done gymnastics and always did their summer camps and a pony camp every July and August.
These girls took away so much, and I bet even today don't realise the effect they had on someone they called a friend.
I actually feel sad for them as it's no way to behave.
Still things have worked out well for my daughter and it shows there is always hope.
We have to keep on trying and pushing for them, our kids are worth so much.
It's such a shame, isn't it. Friends are vital - and good friends are there to support us no matter what. I think when I look back at my own teenage years - part of how I defined myself was who my friends were - I knew they were always there and what I wanted to do each day wove in and around their presence and interaction. To have not had that would have been a horrible feeling at that time.
My son went to First Aid after first lesson yesterday and came home and is home today...sick. One never knows how sick - but what can you do.
Virginia - your daughter sounds like she has a lovely personality that one day will re connect with others - so she has a lot on her side but perhaps she just has to work through where she is now. Tough times for some kids (and their parents...)
Take care everyone