Not been on here for a while. My 15 year old daughter has had anxiety, depression and school refusal issues since 2010. Had lots if ups and downs, cbt , medication. Fantastically since easter 2013 she has been in school working g with tutors. At one point she was even going in herself for future mornings five days a week! Then she went downhill and went in less and less. She said it was because of certain girls in the supported learning room where she worked. The school are very unhelpful in finding her an alternative space to work.
Anyway, following the most recent school meeting she said she wanted to move to another local school. She has said this before but I had thought she should stick it out at her school. Its so difficult to know the right thing to do. She says that she wants to make a new start at a new school and that she definitely feels she can go into mainstream classes in a school where nobody knows her.
So we met today with the Head of the new school. In a nutshell he didn't say yes or no. He has to talk to people including the old school. He said he had to ensure that, if it did go wrong, that the school could give her the support she needs.
We were so positive and excited before the meeting g and now feel a bit flat as we wait for the decision. I'll be gutted if they say no as I am so hopeful about this new move. My daughter was asked if she had a plan b and said to him "I'm not going back to that school".
I'm going to meet with the old school to tell them our plans and hopefully encourage them to say the right things when the new school contact them. Eg. I would hate them to say something like she can't go into normal classes!
If anyone had a similar experience or advice I would be very grateful. Thank you.

Hi Barbara - what a stressful time as you wait for a decision. I am in Australia and our system is a bit different. If you apply to a school that is in your "zone" they cant refuse to take you but if out of zone, it is up to them whether they do or not.

It is great that your daughter had been doing well and is initiating wanting to try a different school. I can say that when my daughter was in primary school she also decided to change schools for a "fresh start". She had been through therapy and medication and was ready to return to school but just felt she wanted to do it somewhere where everyone didn't know her history and it worked really well.

Will keep everything crossed for you and your daughter that the new school accepts your application and she fits in well in a new environment.

Hello Barbara

It's a difficult time to move as, assuming you are UK based, your daughter will be in the middle of exam based courses. The schools (old and prospective) may want to encourage her to stay put if they think it's less disruptive but as a parent I can appreciate that there are many other factors to be considered.

My son started a new school just after Easter. He is 14 and in year 10 but due to problems with his previous school and some family issues he'd been home educated for around 18 months. He is much much better in the new school but I think that is because this school is very supportive rather than simply that he has had a new start. I had to appeal to get him in as there are very few places anywhere in year 10 and the school we wanted was very oversubscribed. He was allocated a different school by the education authority but when we visited it was clear that he was likely to end up with a repeat of all the problems that he had at his last place. Fortunately the appeal was upheld and although it's not all plain sailing, life is much better.

Where our situation differs from yours is that the school we wanted was actually very keen to have him and told us they felt sure they could support him even though they were technically full and we could only get a place via an appeal. I don't think it would have worked if he'd gone to a school with a different attitude. From what I understand from your post the school you hope your daughter can transfer to hasn't said no but they do want to be sure they can offer appropriate support. This sounds sensible as everyone wants to make the move a positive experience. However, if they do say no are there any other schools in the area that you could consider?

Hi Barbara
it's good that your daughter is willing to try a new school. She has shown that she can attend her present school and it is disappointing that others in the class are making her uncomfortable.

I hope that the school she has applied to will be capable of supporting her.
Fingers crossed you get the response from them that you want.

Take care

Virginia