Hi everyone,

I've just come across this forum after googling school refusal. I have two children, age 8 and 5. My 5 year old started school last year and has always had issues leaving me... she cries most days but as soon as I've left she is fine and has lots of fun at school... I thought that was challenging enough... but now my 8 year old boy is having so many problems.

It started in January, he seemed really down and was starting to have lots of unexplained tummy aches and head aches.. He was missing quite a bit of school. One Monday morning, he just refused to get out of bed, saying he didn't want to go to school and he couldn't leave me. This caused lots of stress as you can imagine and went on for a few days. We had meetings with school and they suggested that maybe I could go in to school with him, and see how that goes.

So that's what we have been doing, I've been going in and we have just done a couple of hours each time. Sometimes he goes, other times he really struggles.

The good news is, he has stopped refusing to get out of bed, his behaviour at bedtime has improved and I feel like we are on the up... except this week he has hurt his neck, and he is missing some time again.

Anyway the problem is, my 5 year old is getting worse... I had to carry her the whole way to school this morning, she was screaming, and they had to peel her off me at the door.

we have a meeting coming up at school with social work etc, I don't know what to expect from that... Its not ideal going to school with him, but once we're there, he doesn't need me for anything, just knowing that I'm there helps. I want to increase the time, we are doing one hour a day.... and he is missing so much. I can't see how this is ever going to get better :(

Hi Leanne
I think there was an element of my kids feeding off each others difficulties at primary. One developed school refusal and one battled through in the end.
Its really difficult but u have to do your best not to allow them to detect any anxiety coming from you. Be vary calm and assertive and do your absolute best to keep them going as it really is best that they develop in school amongst their peers.
Ask for support but do not allow any suggestion that it is due to bad parenting.
We kept pushing our daughter past her coping mechanism at the advice of ewo and end psych and to prove to them that we can manage our child and now she is in a terrible mess.
Follow your instinct as a mother.
Best wishes