Hi anybody! I feel like my next step could be The Samaritans if I don't find some solutions to our challenges. Since my [now 15 years old] son started school at the age of almost 5 he has never liked school - literally and on several levels. We coped in various ways too numerous to mention for many many years until puberty hit, then he[my son] started to refuse to go to school.
After too many incidents to go into on here, we signed him off of school when he was about 12/13 [it's all a blur as to the exact date] Now he has started to attend college but is refusing to go there too, just when he will be taking his GCSE's in Mathmatics and English, and is also studying Level 2 ITC. We tried for an apprenticeship but, because of his poor attendance record, that is not feasible. [By the by, he is very intelligent and part of his problem was boredom]
Really I need some positive advice as to what I can do next - there does not seem to be any help anywhere. My husband and I have been divorced for about 6 years , but I do get a bit of help from him, but obviously we need some professional help to just get our son through at least his GCSE's
Here's hoping somebody has something positive to come up with [and also something we haven't already tried}
I do try and keep positive but I fear for the future of my son's work life

Hi Cafherine

I am so sorry to hear how tough things are at the moment and like me, you have been struggling with this for years. It is just so hard, isn't it?
Is your son getting any help from a psychologist? Would you or your son consider medication? Sometimes medication can take the edge off the anxiety and then allow them to try cognitive behaviour therapy to change the negative thoughts. It sounds like your son needs this on going support.
What did he do when he was not attending school? Does he have any friends? Does he go out at all?

I don' t have all the answers but hope we can give you some support on here and someone might have a child in the same position and have some more specific ideas.
Take care
Linds

Hi Linda,
thanks for your reply and kind thoughts. It's just nice to know I am not alone - it feels like it a lot of the time.Once we took our son out of school officially, it felt like we had been cast adrift with no lifeline [sounds melodramatic but thats how it feels anyway] Now and then we come across somebody to help. ie a tutor for instance then, in our experience anyway, that support just isn't ongoing and we have to go down another avenue looking for the answers.
I don't want to go down the medication route particularly for various reasons and the doctors and other professionls don't think there is anything wrong with him - for instance Aspergers is a very hard condition to confirm although his dad and I sometimes think our sonis bordering on that.
Really we just want to know what to do next but, unfortunately society doesn't acknowledge this type of behaviour as 'normal' therefore cannot deal with it.
I am generally a positive person most of the time and , for the most part, try to remain so.
I am sure I will look back on these times and laugh {really??} but my main concern is obviously for my son's academic future.
Positive thought for the day - my son and I painted his room today

Hi
welcome. it's great that your son was willing to go to college to do his subjects and i'm sorry he's starting to refuse to continue. have you asked him if he has a reason why?

also if you feel he shows any signs of Aspergers, would you be willing to go for an official diagnoses? my nephew was missed for Aspergers even though his mom was always convinced that something was 'off'.

not being diagnosed early enough did affect his schooling and early adult life.

i know you may not be a fan of medication, but talking things through with a professional could be a small help for your son. there maybe something available shortterm to get him through this blip.

best of luck

Virginia