Hello,

My 14 year old son has been refusing school for about six months now. He also refuses to engage with the alternative provision offered by school e.g. PRU and home tuition. He has a diagnosis of Generalised Anxiety Disorder and his elder brother (16) has Asperger's syndrome and several mental health difficulties which required seven months inpatient care in a CAMHS unit last year. Currently his placement at special school is in jeopardy due to his continuing mental ill health. My husband has Asperger's syndrome as well and he finds it difficult to censor his emotional response. He is the main carer for the boys whilst I go out to work (I am away from home for 12 or 13 hours a day)

We have a number of agencies involved with the family but very little practical progress has been made with respect to my son's attendance.

I am considering moving the family closer to where I work to try to ease the boys into a local college, which has a good reputation for special needs. I work in education and I could support them better if I had more time to spend with them and practical subjects may be easier for the boys to engage with. However, I do not know whether this is really wise given their mental state. Yet things cannot continue as they are.

What do others think?

Hi Janet

Things sound pretty difficult for you at the moment. You mention that your elder son has Aspergers. Do you suspect t your other son has the same or is on the autism spectrum perhaps?
Given your situation, it sounds like moving the family closer to your work might be a wise move. At leas then you can try them in the different school and you can also spend more time with them.
They probably don't have the self discipline, organisation and motivation to work with school work at home? It sounds like they need the routine of a school that understands.
Mainstream schools just don't cater for differences do they.
My feeling would be that this is the best option for you especially if there are complex mental health issues also at stake with your older son. Not any easy decision, I must say. But you can only go with your gut feeling on this one, I think.
Stay in touch, and don't ever feel alone. There are lots of us on here who can offer help or just be here to listen and care
Take care
Linda