Dear All

Just wondered if anyone had heard of, or had experience of using EMDR (eye movement desensitisation re-processing) therapy with their teenager?

It has been recommended to our daughter in helping with severe anxiety and feelings of failure.

Any comments would be appreciated and I hope you are all enjoying the Summer holidays, without the worry of school.

Thank you.

Regards.

Sharry

Hi Sharry

I hadn't heard of this. I notice that it seems to be used with post traumatic stress syndrome but for chilldrena dn teenagers it can be used for anxiety on other levels. I found this site on line that seemed to give a good outline for its use with children and teenagers.
http://www.growingupeasier.org/index.php?main_page=page&id=150&chapter=3

It's hard to imagine how it would work, so I would be very interested to hear if you go ahead and how it goes. Can you let the forum know?
How are things going with your daughter and her education?
All the best
Linda

Hi Linda

Thank you for this. I think there may be aspects of EMDR that could work for my girl. She went away to a dance school for 8 weeks and was so homesick then came home (in November 2013). She has never been the same since and can't even bear to think about dance at all now, even though she is desperate to start dancing again. She feels she failed and has let her dance teacher down. Her counsellor is beginning to think that this has been such a trauma for her that it has affected everything else. She started dancing at 6 and attended The Royal Ballet School's Associate programme and was destined to be a ballerina. However, she couldn't cope with the homesickness and returned home. It all started to go downhill once she returned. Girls at school were unpleasant to her and she felt her dance teacher was disappointed in her.

We may just give this a try and see how we get on.

On a positive note, she has started attending an education centre 3 afternoons a week. She can take the majority of her GCSE's there, so won't return to her usual secondary school. It is still difficult for her to attend, but it is a step forward. She has also started seeing a few of her school friends.

Small steps forward, but any steps are good.

We just need to get her sorted out with her dance and then then I may, just may, be able to see a glimmer of light at the end of this very long tunnel.

How are things with you and your Son?

Hope things are progressing.

Regards.

Hi Sharry

It does sound like something that might just clear the mind of your daughter and help her move into a better place. Makes me wonder if my son needs something like that to move on from so many years of negativity of not being able to attend school. It hangs over his head like a dark reminder of the past that is not so past...but still with him.

I also sometimes wonder if his difficult birth and also my high stress during the pregnancy when I found out my ex was having an affair and was going to leave didn't produce a whole lot of stress hormones of some kind that made him highly alert to danger from way back then. how does one change the chemical or learnt patterns from that far back?
I will await to hear how you feel it goes before looking into it myself.

I remember your daughter's story well as I felt so sad reading your description of her destined to be a ballerina and then the homesickness triggering such trauma for her. I think I was at the time painting the ballet dancers at our local group. You wouldn't think something like that can effect other aspects of life. We are seeing more and more that such things do render our kids unable to face life as they used to. They just go into lock down, don't they.
But so glad to hear about her attendance for some education and reaching out to her friends again.
My son still remains isolated (except for family and he does go to some shopping centres with me...if they are miles away from th schools he attended!!), and does not want to connect with any friends from his first high school. I cannot image what it must be like to be their age and have no friends.

I hope your daughter continues with these steps forward....small for us as parents to watch but big ones for her.
Hear from you again
Take care
Linda