hi everyone

it has been very quiet in the forum lately . I hope this means that there is more help and support out there?

I know I have asked this question before but thought I'd ask again in case there are more ideas....but if your son/daughter is on medication...what is the medication....what is the dosage.....and is it working?

I do not believe the medication my son takes....Luvox...is working. I am going to visit the doctor next week and ask for it to be either increased or changed. He is 16 now and has been feeling suicidal. I am just so concerned that this has been going on for about 10 years and he just doesn't seem to be getting better. And now he keeps thinking about how this has been his whole childhood...and it makes him very depressed. Any ideas and advice....

Also....does anyone have any experience with acceptance and commitment therapy? his counsellor is recommending that this might work better for him than CBT.

Thanks
Linda

My son is now taking Zoloft. We switched from being seen by the psychiatrist, who cost an arm and a leg, and are now being supervised by the doctor for medication. It is early days yet but my son seems to be in a better frame of mind.
Linda

Hello Linda



Sorry to hear that your Son is still struggling. You are so strong.



My girl (now also 16) is now on Fluoxetine - 20 mg a day. She started this last July. This is her 3rd type of medication, but it is proving the most successful. She now attends an education centre 3 times a week and will take her GCSE's there in June. She has also re-connected with some friends and is looking at going to College to do her A levels or a vocational course in September. She has also returned to dance classes (just 1:1 as she can't manage a full class).



Yes, this sounds positive BUT I am only too aware that September may arrive and she will be unable to go. I am just trying to prepare her as much as possible beforehand and trying to keep calm and still taking one day at a time. I don't know what we'll do if she can't go.



I really hope this different medication may suit your Son more.



If he able to go to School at all at the moment?



Keep being strong.



Regards.

Hi Sharry

Thanks for your reply. It had been so long since I had heard from anyone I was wondering where everyone was and what they were up to! I am so glad to hear of your update. It has been so hard for you to watch your beautifully talented daughter unable to pursue her dance but this is good news indeed. I completely understand how you still sit in edge regarding any next step plans. We are in that position at the moment.

My son is now on new medication, Zoloft and I think it might be working! For the first time in what feels like forever, he is interacting and doing things more. He even went to the cinema to see the Star Wars movie with his dad and even a few months ago he would not have been able to feel able to tolerate the experience of cinema with the noise and also social interaction. He just seems 'lighter' and does things that before involved great effort, even playing with the dogs...talking to family, getting through Christmas was susually a real struggle but not this year. Hard to pin point some of the changes as they are subtle but overall he just seems relaxed! But like yiou, I sit on edge as he will soon enrol to go to a college to do his final two years of schooling, These colleges here are mostly for post Year 11 and 12 courses but one that is a train ride away also offers the last two years of school. The great thing is they will all be new....there is no school environment, no uniform etc. it will take a lot of self discipline as they won't look after him as much as if he was in a school, but it might just be what he needs. But starting....at end of January...will be a big or a huge step out into the world...which he avoided most of last year. He did pass Year 10 by doing it on line via our Distant Education school but the self discipline and getting him up before lunch time was a huge effort! I am hopeful though....as at least if he cannot manage the TAFE college, he can go back to the on line schooling.

You are a great support to your daughter and have lots of strength, despite probably sometimes feeling like you have non left!!
It has been a long journey for us, hasn't it!? Wishing you all the best in the next phase and hope to hear from you again. I'll keep in mind your medication as I am aware we might need to try a few but fingers crossed that this ine takes the edge off both the anxiety and the depression,
Take care and may this year be a positive step forward for your daughter.
Linda

Does anyone know if there is an American equivalent to this website/support group?
My 16 yr old daughter would miss at least half of her required time at school and when she was there she wouldn't go to class or do homework 90% of the time. I pulled her out to homeschool her as I thought reducing the stress of having to go would make her able to do the work. Since early December she has only done a few assignments. She either gets mad or breaks down with depression when I try to push doing schoolwork. I wanted to look into the college program for high schoolers, vocational training that can be applied to an associate degree if they want. She wouldn't go to the open house to learn about the program. I'm looking into residential school programs because I don't know what to do. She will not see any doctor, dentist, counselor, alternative therapist. She cannot take SSRI's due to side effects. Supplements high in vitamins and minerals have helped but aren't enough.
Her sleep schedule is also backwards where she can't sleep at night but then won't get up before noon to make her tired enough to sleep at night. Barely eats and poor nutrition when she does, but I can't get her to make better choices.

Hi Terri

Your daughter sounds so similar to where my son was 8-12 months ago. It is so stressful to witness this, isn't it. Looking back I can see that my son was more depressedd than I had perhaps realised and this was why there was no motivation to do the school work and no motivation to even get up.....sometimes mornings stretched into afternoons before I could get him out of bed. And like youre daughter, always angry and frustrated. Don't loose hope, there is light at the end if the tunnel and my son has managed to move forward from that same scenario and is now attending a place that is ususlly for tertiary students but also runs classes for those wanting to do the last two years of school, including mature age students. Being treated like an adult, in an adult environment, coupled with new medication , has all helped.

You mention the SSRI side effects mean your daughter cannot take these, Has she tried many types? It can take several medication trials before the might find one that has little to no side effects. My son does not have any significant if any side effects (zoloft). This is the second type he has tried, and coming off them can be a big tricky but swapping between them was manageable, he only felt pretty awful for 2-3 days and as he knew he had to feel bad before the new meds started kicking in, he was able to manage.
See if you can talk to the doctor about trying a different type, if you felt that your daughter really does need to take the edge off the depression. It is a vulnerable age, so if medication can help, I do believe it can be of great benefit. This is coming from someone who was dead set against medication many years back!!

As far as I know there is no equivalent to this forum in the USA. Whilst I have been on here we have had just a few come on from the US and they said they had not found something similar. That does not mean there isn't something. It might take some time to find. There is quite a bit of research in the US on school refusal and some specialists who do deal with this. There is also a live in school in the states but I understand the the cost is very high. I am from Australia and found this site was my saviour as there is no equivalent in Australia. Everyone on here understands what you are going through and can offer help and support.

What has the school done to support your daughter? It is hard when she won't see anyone to help . My son was younger when he went through that stage and even when the psychologist came to the house, he'd barricaded himself in his bedroom. But he came to the acceptance and realisation that he had anxeity and depression and then this helped him to see he had to see professionals.

If you are able to embrace your daughter where she is now, hug her,reassure her that she will eventuwlly feel better and let her know you are doing all you can to support her. Encourage her to accept she has the anxiety or depression, but that is ok, we are all wired up differentlyand she may need to have some help on how to get her wires running smoothly again. Acceptance for us was one of the many big steps forward. I made that step a few yesrs before my son did.

Have a look in the reaource section on this site, there may be a couple of things from the US.
Have you made contact woth the anxiety and depression organisation in the US?
http://www.adaa.org/living-with-anxiety/children/school-refusal

Let us know how you go. And take time out for yourself, this is very stressful and you need some ''me' time 😊
Take care
Linda

Sharry - I'm wondering if your daughter ever tried the EMDR and if there was any results. I'm guessing it did not work entirely since your daughter is now on an SSRI. My daughter has a very similar story and I'm looking into EMDR