My 8 year old daughter started getting really upset when it was time to go to school about 3 months ago. She goes very quiet, starts crying and saying she feels sick. She also stopped eating breakfast, whereas she used to be really hungry in the mornings and eat a big breakfast.

She's also given up on most of her out of school activities - basketball, dancing, gymnastics. She still goes swimming but I think that's because her Grandad takes her and she likes being with him. She's also got upset before going to birthday parties. She'd be really excited about them and then as we got to the door to go she'd start crying and say she felt sick.

A couple of months ago she started saying she felt sick before meals and only eating a fork full of food or sometimes nothing. And if she did eat anything she's say she felt sick. I took her to our GP about this, who was very good and said this was quite common with children her age. She agreed it's probably anxiety rather than a food allergy, but advised to keep a food diary for 2 weeks, just to make sure. I did the food diary for 3 days but my daughter became so obsessed with it that I had to stop as just kept telling me she felt sick after everything and checking that I'd written everything down.

She cries every morning before school. Not just when I take her, but when her Grandad takes her and when my friend took her.

It's so distressing as she was such an outgoing, confident and sociable girl who loved being with people. She has a nice group of friends and her best friend lives next door. And she loved dancing and gymnastics and spends most of her time doing cartwheels and being upside down. Generally she's a very happy child and I can't figure out what's made her this way. I've spoken to her teachers and they've said she's very happy at school and her school work is good. I just don't know what to do to help her.

Hi Nikki

Sorry to hear how things are with your daughter. And very hard for you to watch a once happy girl change.
It does sound like an anxiety. Do you think there might have been any bullying? Can you trace it back to an event or time where something happened at home, at school or in the world! Kids do seem hyper sensitive to many things these days and there is w lot more anxiety disorderS.

See if you can get her assessed by CAMHS through the school or a diagnosis from a child psychologist.
Try and take the focus away from always being on school attendance and allow her to enjoy something during this time As it must be overwhelming for her too. I wonder if her interest in making sure you listed the foods that made her ill was to try and then make sure she didn't have to eat what she couldn't,t or in fact, go to school. My son basically never ate breakfast or lunch during his primary school years. He said he felt too sick. That was the anxiety, for awhile I got him drinking liquid breakfast, usually a bought sustagen or something similar. I tried banana smoothies but he said they also made him feel ill. So light milk drinks of some sort might help?

Is she able to go to school with her next door friend? Going with someone her age might help or have they for some reason fallen out?
It takes a lot of analysing and trying to figure out if there is a reason but sometimes it just 'is'.

See if the teachers will give yiu any work or subject topics they are or will be working in and ask if they will help you keep her up to date with the class as falling behind doesn't help as you know, teachers sometimes need to have things explained to them, and how this is not a misbehaving child, but an anxiety issue that you are doing all you can to deal with but need their support.
Also keep her socialising , even if just with family, no matter hiow reluctant she is, Take her shopping or for a walk or a bike ride or just out and about.
Going swimming is a great thing for her to keep up. Such a pity she dropped the other activities but if she is highly anxious in social settings then it is understandable, isn't it, could any bullying or teasing have happens at these things!? Embrace your daughter where she is now, she is probably overwhelmed and scared as she doesn't know why it is happening.
Try to find ways to keep her going to school most days. Then assess if things don't improve and you've had help from psychologist etc and consider home schooling perhaps? See what resources are available on this websites resource list.

My son is now 16 and has just passed Year 10 despite missing an enormous amount of schooling, he is also on medication and changed to one that seems to be having a better effect. Small steps have always been a good philosophy and them always knowing you are there to support and encourage.
Hang in there and also get support for yourself as it must be very exhausting for you.
Come on here any time. You are not alone.
Take Care and let us know how you go
Linda