HI Avery

What a lovely post - from someone who truly understands. I think everything you have explained in your post is most helpful to us, even if our kid hasn't been diagnosed with Aspergers. Many anxiety symptoms overlap.
I think your point about letting the daughter know that you 'believe' in them is just so vital. I also found this with my son early on and embraced him where he was at the time and knew he was feeling some pretty awful things and I was infuriated when teachers would tell me it was just bad behaviour!

Probably these days there should be more understanding of anyone with ASD. Perhaps we will see a change in more years to come. Sometimes some teachers think they understand ASD but then label a child who is showing similar symptoms as misbehaving. We shouldn'thave to go around with a label on our head. It is about accepting and embracing everyone - no matter what they act like or what they look like or what philosophy they follow.
In our better understanding of mental health disorders and also issues of ASD, we seem to have slipped off the edge of where it all should start - tolerance. We must teach tolerance to children.


I also think that teachers need to go back to teaching to'Mixed abilities' and extend that to 'and mixed personalities'. Different students also learn in different ways - so we need more understanding of those who visualise, those who verbalise and those who need lists and borders etc. WE need to stop trying to make everyone the same! There seems to be a lot of focus about making kids more confident - so they try to throw everyone under the spotlight!
And as for giving talks...why force kids to talk to 25 of their peers when they probably will never ever do this again in their lives! It makes those who are already confident shine and bloom and those who are anxious, scuttle for cover and feel absolutely terrible about themselves. My son is very knowledgeable but I don't think there has ever been a time when he wanted to get up and talk to his class about it!

Anxiety seems to go hand in hand with depression as the frustration must be enormous. I do not believe my son does have ASD but as he has social anxiety - then many of the situations overlap. The avoidance then becomes the norm and that is hard to shake. I am sure you would identify with this. It does become a way of life then - which is what we are dealing with at the moment. How do you turn the constant negatives from the past into positives and motivation for the future?
Your advice re medication is good. I also came to believe it was the best way to take those steps forward. Without it, my son was just going no-where and getting more and more depressed. He still has a lot to work through but he is not suffering the depression he was so things do get easier.
It is so refreshing to hear your story and to know that you can get through -despite the odds and perhaps once school is behind you - life does become easier.
Thank you so much for sharing - and I am sure the others who posted on here about their ASD children will find comfort and good advice from your post.
All the best in whatever path life has now led you...
Linda