Keith, As you will have read in the forum, school refusal is not as uncommon as schools would lead you to believe.

Coming out of my daughter's school , after yet another meeting, I met the deputy head teacher, who informed me that he was on smoking patrol. This led to general conversation in which he informed me that his brother had refused to attend school. Yet, the school had led us to believe that we were the only family with this problem.

This response will focus on your legal situation.

You will have heard of parents being fined for taking their children out of school for holidays, weddings, etc. This is not the same as your situation. But you have to be able to demonstrate that your situation is different.

You need to be able to show that you have been fulfilling your duty, your obligation to Zak, in attempting to get him into school. And when that fails, that you have been attempting to provide education in a different way, e.g. working at home or tutoring.

If you can show that you have been asking the school(s) to help with this, by providing homework, or by arranging tutoring, or a special timetable, then you have the evidence to support your case, should it come to that.

Are you keeping a diary, or records of all school meetings and of other activities such as doctors appointments?

Please remember that you are not alone. As we appraoch the Christmas holidays, this forum will go quiet. Schools have other things to think about and our children seem calmer. But we will be here.

Yours aye,

Simon

thanks simon for your reply im just so worried as I will lose my job if I get a criminal record
the meeting is planned for Thursday at 10am I will post again afterwards when ive got my head together I have taken notes and with ask questions and write down their responses thank s again

Hi Keith

How was the meeting? Or is it still to happen?
Also remind the school, that they have an obligation to provide education for any child who is unable to attend due to health issues...and this is a health issue, a mental health issue. The UK government website does have the details about this clause but it seems that a lot of schools either do not read this or think it doesn't cover mental health but they'd have a hard case trying to argue this in a court...they'd lose ! So throw it back at them. You are doing all you can at your end, they need to provide the support at their end and not do the blame game.Check out my reply to Londonmum, as I provide the link to the documentationon this.

For your son...has he had a diagnosis?Is he having any counselling? Woud you consider medication? All these things can make it a bit easier for your son, who must be feeling pretty awful and isolated right now. Make sure he knows you believe him and are doing your best to make him eventually feel better. It can drain al their self esteem, so reassurance that family understand is important. My son kept in touch with friends via on line games...and made new ones. Important he keeps some social contact even if not always face to face.
My son found his new medication, Zoloft, allowed him to move forward in ways he couldn't before. We are still not out of the wilderness, but have come a long way. Avoidance can become a lifestyle, so any help you can get to get your son to change his thinnking, such as cognitive behaviour is also advisable.
Its hard on you and family, so don't feel alone, as Simon says, there is always someone on here who can listen when things get tough,
The school or department cannot fine you if your son has school refusal, so just make sure as Simon pioints out, they know. what steps you have been taking. They now need to also take some responsibiliy.
Let us know how it goes
Linda

thank you for your help
the meeting went as well as expected I had to sign a parent contract and they will be looking at his attendance again on 30th January 2017.
my son is back in court on the 11th and youth offending are going to recommend that he goes on electronic tag to keep him in at night.
I have a meeting with the school when they go back about a part time timetable to try and ease Zak back to school. the school a pupil referral unit have been excellent.
I have spoken to Zak about this at length and he says he will try a part time timetable but I want him to agree with the school what hours and days he wants to do. hopefully then we will have more chance of him going
thanks
keith

Hi Keith

I am glad you are getting some help. Curious about the tag to keep him in at night. Was he just leaving the house at night as night time was more calming on the mind (as in a friend of mine's son who has mental health issues)? Do you think it started from this? It sounds like it must have become something more - but perhaps this is the way some kids deal with the issues going on in their heads? It was a bit of a nightmare for my friend at the time - so I can imagine your stress. So hopefully the school side will start to work in some way so that your son can re-engage. They loose a lot of self esteem through all this - so it can take awhile - but small steps are all good.
All the best for the new year - and feel free to come on here any time -
take care
Linda