Hello. Its hard to know where to begin but currently my son is not attending school on a regular basis, maybe once a week or an afternoon or a day if we are lucky. His attendance has been declining for over a year now and I cant seem to get to the bottom of it. It seems to have been one thing after another on why he can not attend school.

We do have Early Help involved and regular meetings with the school but nothing seems to be giving my son the "light bulb" moment that he needs to be in school.

He is currently not sleeping well and sleeping in the day, we have tried to break this habit but if I try and wake him he wont get up and falls back to sleep. We have been to do the doctors who gave him an insomnia print out! I have to go to work each day and even though I can pop home sometimes I still cant get him up and into school.

I am at my wits end with it all and not sure what else i can do?

Thanks for reading.

Hi Sharon

Its so tough, isn't it. I can hear your frustration.
It could be that your son does have School refusal - which is from an anxiety disorder - usually either generalised anxiety disorder or social anxiety or both and this can kick in depression as it is so overwhelming for them to know what is happening to them - and everyone keeps asking - and they don't know!

There is also the issue of sleep. Anxiety and depression feed into this. And also technology as you would know.
My son originally used the technology to help avoid feeling anxious or depressed - but then the staying up became a life style as well.

I don't have a miracle answer but perhaps tackle it from the anxiety/depression point of view and see if the doctor can help. They might also be able to prescribe medication that can take the edge off and then make changing or tackling things just that bit easier. Try a different doctor or get a referral to a psychologist if the first doctor is just treating the symptom 'insomnia' rather than the cause.

My son got through is year 11 by having flexibility at the school end. They were not that forthcoming with work unfortunately but they were flexible of him sitting an exam on a different day or giving a presentation just to the teacher instead of the class etc. and at the end they just said 'get the work in' and didn't bother too much about attendance.I suspect this year when he ended up starting a week late due to enrolment stuff ups and then finding the classes really big...he panicked. So if you can get the school to focus on 'easing' the expectations and requirements at their end, he might be able to attend enough to get through.

Was their any bullying do you think? Sudden expectations from teachers and school? Or is it just his overall feeling spiralled down? Do you think he'd give on line schooling a go? Was he motivated to do the work in the past? There is a fine line between pushing and then turning them off learning and/or stopping and hoping they have the motivation to do something on line or small group or with tutors coming to the house.
See if you can find out something more from the doctor re anxiety and depression and go from there.
Come on here any time - everyone understands and you are not alone : )
Take care
Linda x