Hello,

My daughter is 15 and has stopped going to school altogether (over the last few months).

She will not get out of bed until it is too late to go and then will get up and sometimes stay with me whilst I work from home (we have a very good relationship) but if asked why she refuses, she will clam up. We have got nothing from her.

We suspect that she might be ASD (her brother, 12, was statemented at 10 with ASD) and are taking steps to have her assessed now (we didn't before because she appeared to be coping OK).

She is not being bullied, we have checked all her devices and we have always limited her time on them so she is not too tired.

She is theoretically very bright but this doesn't help. She is an unremitting perfectionist.

She also has eating problems, being very fussy and eating very little and no meat.

She does not go out to socialise with friends at all and has only one friend to speak of, in school but this is insufficient to motivate her to go.

It is as though she is trying to control the things she can - school and food.

Anyway, the main reason I posted was to ask you all...

What can we get her High School to actually do?

My understanding is that a school must provide a child with the education which it needs? If that is so, am I entitled to have the school spend some of the capitation which they are getting for her on an email-based teaching system? Must they help like this or do I have to take my child away from the school, potentially, and send her elsewhere, where they will agree to use the capitation this way?

Have any of you come across these issues, please?
If so, what did you find?

Many thanks in advance

Best

B

Sorry to hear how things are, B,

I am hoping someone else will reply to you as I really don't have an answer. By Capitation, I am assuming you mean the money paid to the school for your daughter to attend? Correct me if I am wrong, It is an interesting question. I think this is where tutoring can sometimes be provided as it still comes under the school finances. I do not know of anyone who has then translated this into on line learning.

The issue that probably arises for this is not that it can't be used in this way but that the payments you make do not go to individual teachers and so the school will find it hard to justify the time teachers would have to put in to do this.
If it is just sending work home, then there does not seem to be any particular obligation and it depend on the school and the individual teachers. Schools often need to be pressured to do this as their theory (and I was told this from our first school) was that if my son received work to do at home, he'd never go back to school. I don"t agree.

Hopefully someone else will have some ideas on this. Meanwhile, hang in the, and make sure you do some things just for you, so that it is not all about school. And build your daughter's self esteem in other ways.
Take care
Linda

Hello Linda,

Thanks for replying :)

Yes, that's exactly what I meant by capitation - perhaps I have got the wrong word.

The e-scheme to which I refer is already in existence here:

https://sites.google.com/a/e-learningservice.com/the-e-learning-service/

I imagine it will be of use to many people on this forum since it's on the net and can reach out anywhere. So the school just needs to buy in its services - not create such a scheme itself.

What I need to know - what we all need to know - is the extent to which we can insist on schemes like this, of course.

In the meantime, thanks for your kind words, I am feeling particularly bruised right now.

Best,

B

Hi B

Thanks for that link, and very helpful for others. It has not been mentioned on here before. What an excellent program.
On their website It sounds like schools might only cover exams but if schools can also put the work together, then it sounds more than that. I'd be asking the e learning centre, they might know more about what schools can be asked to provide from your payment and if it works that way.

Maybe if you push your school, they will agree to this coming under payment you have already provided. But if payment you have provided is less than the elearning, they will obviously not be interested. You might, however, be creating a first!! Let us know how you go and what you find out as I am sure this will be of interest to many who are looking for alternatives.

Take care
Linda xx