school refusers

a resource for parents 

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School Refusal
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Re: How are you managing?

Hi Diane

Just wondering how things are with your grandaughter? Have you been able to find a new GP or psychologist that can help?
Have you managed to get the school authorities off your back?
Hoping some help came your way and your grandaughter is receiving the help and support she needs.
Take care

Re: How are you managing?


Stumbled across the site today.....Where do i start?

14yr old Daughter has had problems since Christmas where she wont go in. Simple question at this threats work?" Tried lots of other things with limited to no success, but i know how much she loves her gadgets....if i take them away will it help or just make matters worse...i know their will be tantrums, but will they be worth the pain?


Re: How are you managing?

I am just going to be practical - and probably no help!
We are all different and all our children are different, so there is no one size fits all here.
We entered into a bargain with our daughter over 'gadgets'. Initially it was the Playstation, but we found withdrawing it was detrimental to the situation, as she lost contact with gaming friends having already lost contact with her school friends, and became more withdrawn.
Later, it was her mobile phone, but we were not aware that her teachers were trying to set home work by texting her, so that was a backward step! Not that she actually did any, but there was a continuing school/pupil contact, and a physical indication that someone actually cared about her. My youngest child has all her homework, revision schedules, etc, posted online, so withdrawing the phone/laptop would definitely be the wrong thing to do, though perhaps a timetabled usage would work, and if that usage were in a public area which encourages the move from out of under the duvet.
You have friends here! Use us!

Re: How are you managing?

Thanks Simon,

Appreciate your post. Some of the things you mention make 100% sense to me. I have big fears of removing the xbox and phone as that is the only place that she communicates with the close friends she has...none of these go her school.

Reading through the many forum posts has been really useful to me, to see how others have the issue, to see how they cope and to read practical thoughts and ideas of what to do next!

Tomorrow is Monday, a day the rest of the family fear, how will she be, what will she react like, will she go in, will she sleep tonight???

Afer a big family discussion last week and a further visit to the drs, We are currently on a plan....hoping she goes in for 2nd lesson tomorrow, 1st lesson Tuesday and form the rest of the week, i doubt it will happen but can only try.

One difference i have noted between my daughter and many of the others is that once she does get in to school , her fears and issues do diminish, and generally she does manage to get through the rest of the day without too much problem...that gives us hope i guess!

Lets see what tomorrow brings and i will check back in to share.....Glad i found this place....thanks!

Re: How are you managing?

thanks dj.
She didn't get to sleep until 3am. trying to wake up now. she loves school when she goes but it is getting her there. she goes for a few days then refuses again. she had bad teacher last school year and few accidents at school which doesn't help. Headmaster not helpful. Thinking of changing schools. Has one more year at primary.

Re: How are you managing?

Hi Linda. Managed to get granddaughter back to school for the last 3days of term. She says she will go in September as will be year 6. She does get very anxious about the slightest things. Seeing a psychologist monthly but awaiting therapy. They say she can't start until back to school, but needed therapy to enable her to go back.

Re: How are you managing?

Glad to hear she went for those last three days as it might be the link needed for the new start in year 6. Hoping the therapy helos and the psychologist. All the best!

Re: How are you managing?

Hi dj

My 14 year old is the same once I get him to school which is rare he is fine no problems and people just don't see the actual nightmare we have gone through to get him there, I think it's the thought of going rather than what happens when he gets there 😩