school refusers


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Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

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School Refusal
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Re: Your experience of how the school treated your school refuser

My sons school have actually caused it. I do not subscribe totally to the idea of ignorance. Our son and your children are the only ones you have. I have met teachers in their 50s 40s and 30s who will have seen many children like ours.

The issue as I see it is a mix. I think there is a lot of 'I am professional I know best' I feel that in my experience in two junior schools and a bit over one year in a secondary school is that no one can tell a teacher.

I think there is discrimination. My son has a number of issues which affect his time keeping. For all things. For all things. Yes I have said that twice. I have told the school. I have told them he has a disability. I have asked for reasonable adjustment. It was refused. I only wanted them to stop threatening detention. No we carry on the threats then lateness gets worse. The absence increases now we threaten fines. When I raise the issue with the SENCO the reply was ' well he would not be late for something he want to do'. For all things he is late. They read the pupils attendance out - my sons is the worst and the children laugh at him. You know what follows.

There is a book at the front office for late arrivals. He writes 'stuck in traffic'. The pastoral care officer tells him he cant write that he must right the real reason.

I have asked his year head. If someone was in a wheel chair without legs would you put him in detention for not running round the field. I got no answer. I asked if I could read staff attendance out in the staff room. 'no we are different.' When I pointed out dignity at school no real answer. I pointed out the criminal offence of publishing data - they just stopped reading Jack's out. I asked if someone had a bowl or bladder problem would you need to write that in the book for everyone to see. Silence.

The trouble here is that teachers appear unwilling to change what they do. Our most vulnerable have no rights, if you looks at most big organisations there are HR policies unions professional bodies, as adults however painful we could change job, move and there are many other options. Children have nothing.

When they don't go in we let loose the child catching attendance officers who will do their best to force a child back for more undefended, unprotested bullying and humiliation.

As a society we should hang our heads in shame. We have failed yet again to protect the vulnerable.

Re: Your experience of how the school treated your school refuser

Oh, Michael, this makes me so angry!

The lack of understanding; the arrogance; the ignorance. And yet, I have experienced teaching staff who show sympathy and give support, so I cannot point at them all (See the blog: Another duvet day.

So, for me, this issue is how to spread that from those who do care to those who do not?

Would you be oK if I use your case, anonymised? We need to up the stakes so parents and their child get the support they need and deserve.

Re: Your experience of how the school treated your school refuser

Hi Mike

I am so sorry to hear this and it sounds so familiar. I also found the teachers seemed locked into the attitude that you can't treat one child differently, and yet this is in an era when we are told to embrace differences.

It sounds like your son is being treated as having a behaviour issue rather than an anxiety issue or disability with time. Why are teachers not being taught to see what the problems really are? Maybe all teachers need ro study some psychology and about disability.

I think Simon is right....we need to up the pressure and make schools sit up and understand. Even just a few sympathetic teachers is not enough, the whole school needs ro support kids who struggle to get to school or when at school.

I hope yu can find support for your son soon...perhaps outside of school.
Linda

Re: Your experience of how the school treated your school refuser

My view at the moment would be that there is an endemic problem.

My son's first junior school has not been inspected since before 2005. They shockingly bad. We moved him.

The SENCO at my wife's school visited when the SENCO retired - she wanted a school nearer home.

She returned and in her view the school were not supporting children, parents would leave.

Sats results good - Ofsted stay away. My wife had three inspections in that time.

I complained to DfE Ofsted and LA. I believe that there was a pattern which could easily have been identified. We knew and still know many of the parents of the children who were SEN. All the authorities refused to act and told me to tell the governors. I asked what would happen if I did nothing. The answer was nothing.

Reminds me of Jimmy Saville - I do accept that the action was different. But we still have vulnerable children not supported.