school refusers


a resource for parents 


Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

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School Refusal
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Re: Outcome

Hi Julie

Simon has explained well how our school refusers can and will become functioning adults and how you do need to look after yourself in all of this and not let it consume you.

If you can find a professional who will work with the separation anxiety and not focus so strongly on the school refusal (which is most likely the result of the separation anxiety) I would follow that and find ways to break that down not related to school.
If your daughter can't get to school, try and get the teachers to provide work, or find some online learning or if you can, look at home schooling as one of the options.

My son missed most of his schooling but still managed to pass his year 11 last year. He is hoping to enrol to do his final year after taking a year off this year to do nothing much except get his self esteem back. He is a much happier person now and maturity has helped him learn to manage better.

My heart goes out to you as I remember so clearly the frustration. There is light at the end of the tunnel....it might not look all that bright from where you are standing but if you look hard..it's there and will get bigger.
Don't hesitate to come on here and ask for help...we understand just what you are going through.

Hang in there....whatever happens, school education is not everything but having a happy child is. Learning does not have to come from school but your daughter will need lots of help to learn to manage her anxiety and fear. She'll get there...and so will you. Do some nice things when the school break happens and have a plan A and a plan B. Perhaps ask the school to do a plan for increased attendance starting with one class for the first few days...two classes...and so on. Some school refusers do well with this, others hate it as they don't want the other kids to ask why they are skipping. Worth a try.
Take care,
Linda 😊

Re: Outcome

Hi,

Thank you for your words of encouragement it really means a lot. It has made me feel more hopeful about our futures. I find school is very hard work. you are right, if I would have another crisis on my hands I probably would struggle to cope. I have currently resided myself that I will probably not work for the next few years although I am currently off sick.

School have said I can bring work home everyday but wasn't sure if this would be the best path to take for her, I can only say it would relieve me and help me cope better if I am not pushing her into school everyday and sitting in the corridor.

My worry is her future and becoming a functioning adult. I have very good support with family and friends and as a family we were very sociable before the school resuasal and anxiety started.

Your hopeful messages and support has given me a little more strength to know we are not the only ones living through this.

I know we have a long road in front of us but it's hard trying to come to terms with it, thank you for being there with your lovely messages. Xxx

Julie