Hi
I get where you are coming from although I think there is probsbly a differrence between yourself, your bad experiences/negative feelings towards school and someone suffering from anxiety who cannot actually get to school. Not all those who refuse to go to school actually dislike it, it is far more complex than that. But you are also right that some who have been bullied or have a negative experince find the school does not understand and so school refusal can set in.

Is there any teacher (or welfare support person) who you feel you engage better with or trust, who you could share what you have shared with us? The school needs to know how you are feeling. Some teachers might not realise and just need to hear it from a student like yourself It might also help others who are feeling similar to you.

It sounds like your school is very big and the bigger the school,the more impersonal they become. Schools do need to be so much smaller and class sizes small so that those like yourself can feel connected and even direct more of your learning yourself. There are some smaller schools where students do enjoy attending and some students don't mind larger schools, but you are certainly not alone in feelings of isolation, frustration and lack of learning anything of significance. You might find, however, that in years to come you look back and find some things you have learnt do have significance later on. Learning a language can be a wonderful experience, so it is a shame you feel it has been lacking. Sometimes teachers can be limited by the large class size or the behaviour of students. You can, if you wanted, so as not to have no French knowledge and feel it was a waste of time, learn this language or another language via on line sites or apps. Then one day if you ever go to France, you will be able to have a much more rich and enjoyable experience as the French really appreciate those who even just try and speak some French.

Tertiary study is very different from school, so don't let your experience of your school put you off doing any further study later. After school, study is much more indepth and interesting and you can specialise in something you are really interested in. Everyone has also matured by then and so it is easy to find others with which you have a common interest.

I hope that there is a chance for a more positive experience in this new year. Have a think about who you might be able to talk to at the school.
Schools certainly need to change on many levels.
Meanwhile...check out the French learning apps, sites.....find a science competition to enter, write your own short story, paint a picture, teach yourself guitar, watch documentaries by Brian Cox, help someone in need, volunteer somewhere, cook a meal and perhaps you won't feel so much as if you are just filling in time until you leave school, What you learn outside school can also help what you are able to put into your last years of schooling.
Take care and take steps to share how you are feeling with someone at the school or outside the school.
Linda

Hi:

You seems very thoughtful and Intelligent. I agree with Linda. Your reasons for not wanting to attend school might be different from those of traditional school refusers. For you, like in our son's case, it is more of a waste of time and about resistance to control. I agree mostly with what you have said. In a world where I can get answers instantly online, when it takes a whole hour of class to teach you so little, one has to wonder if the education system has advanced fast enough to todays needs.
You I think would relate well to Prince EA. Have you seen his stuff? Particularly this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_PsLRgEYf9E

I think you are going to do just fine.