school refusers

a resource for parents 

Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

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School Refusal
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Just found this site again

Was sitting thinking and just googling and came up on this site again.
I found it very helpful when my daughter was going through school refusal.
Experience has taught me that school wasnt the issue but rather mental health.
The day i said fine you can stop goibg it was like an enormous weight had been taken from both of us.
The future didnt look bright and the fear of possibly no education was horrendous. One day two years later she asked to go to a local college to do her final year and sit state exams.
She did and passed with flying colours.
Through all the upset with school everyone including me missed the fact that she needs to talk to someone professionally. Yes she has her college place but until her mental health is improved college has to wait.
I would put nothing before good mental health so dont let schools bully you into thinking the world if end if your child doesnt attend.
Education can be caught up colleges are out there for any age. A young person being happy and comfortable in themselves is vital, everthing else will fall into place.
Sorry for the long post.:smiley:

Re: Just found this site again

So good to hear from you again!

I am so pleased that life is now rather calmer and the future looking brighter.

Your daughter will know when the time is right to settle into college life. It may be a struggle at the start, but she will get there, as our daughter eventually did.


Re: Just found this site again

Hi Victoria,

Lovely to hear from you (yes I'm still here!!).
So nice to know how your daughter went and I agree entirely that mental health is the issue.
Until the schools and professionals start tackling that and realise that facing your fears might work in other circumstances but not in school (too many fears to face at once) then our kids will continue to struggle to find steps forward.
We are at the stage of letting a second attempt to do the final year slide. My son's own choice to do both times but I suspect he needed to be stronger before tackling this and it also kept reminding him of how he had failed in the past to keep attending. It has taken its toll over the years and I wish I had found an alternative way back.

I am sure your daughter will find her way forward eventually, as she proved in doing her final year. They just have to wait until they can find ways to manage their mental health. What is your daughter doing in the meantime? Did she have the confidence to get a job?
All the best,

Re: Just found this site again

Hi Linda
Good to see youre still here.
My daughter is currently getting therapy, something we should have pursued earlier but she wasnt ready imo.
Shes going to redo her final school year resit the state exams and apply again for the college place she wants. This is her dream and I'll try my hardest to help her achieve this.
Love this site.