Hi Linda

Thanks so much for your reply. It's certainly a challenging situation and very isolating as I know no one in a similar situation, so very glad to have found this site.

Have heard of Red Balloon so will take a closer look.

I think much of my daughter's behaviour must be driven by anxiety as you suggest, although not diagnosed specifically - maybe it is considered part of the ADD. (We have noticed increased anxiety in many other public situations too, unrelated to school). Trying to analyse what makes her tick is incredibly difficult as it seems so complex. All her emotions seem heightened, and she will bounce from a state of happy/over-excitability to anger/discontent in an instant with nothing much in between. She is often irrational in her anger and non-accepting of explanations etc. If anything, this seems to be getting worse.

She started taking Strattera (non-stimulant) a couple of months ago, prescribed by the psych. However as he said, it's difficult to measure its effectiveness (increased attention, focus) as she is not in a learning environment. Although she has always struggled to get to sleep or stay asleep, she is now up all night and falling asleep during the day - which again scuppers any attempt at routine.

What you say about backing off from talking about school does sound like a good idea and is something I will put into practice. She has found learning difficult from around Y3 - the most she has ever said about school is that she finds it difficult and doesn't understand anything. I am coming to realise that there may not be any provision for her at the moment that would work (apart from a home tutor). She does like to do things like baking/cooking and I do encourage her although years ago she stopped going to clubs/activities outside home. As for friends, she had two friends in primary who are now at different schools and she seems to be losing contact (although she makes no effort to keep up with them, maybe defensive, as if she doesn't care). I think we could do more about this on her behalf, like inviting friends. I think peer relationships are tricky for her.

When I write it all down like this, it seems like a mountain to climb, and I hardly know where to start to make a difference. It's really hard finding the right balance too between tiptoeing around her to avoid conflict and staying firm to certain boundaries. Quite overwhelming, but then life seems to be overwhelming for her too. We try to focus on the positives, supporting and encouraging her, and remaining calm when she explodes. Emotionally draining for us all.

Thanks for listening - and for emphasising how important her mental health is over other issues. Important to keep that perspective.

Maire

Hi Maire

How are things going at your end? Any feeling of moving forward or still stuck in the same spot?
Have you been able to do something for yourself to take the focus off the whole school thing?
Hope you and your daughter are finding some ways through this as I know just how tough thingd can be.
Take care,
Linda xx