school refusers


a resource for parents 


Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

  No registration required - just get posting!
 


School Refusal
Start a New Topic 
Author
Comment
View Entire Thread
Re: A positive update!

Hi Sophy,

So lovely to hear from you again! Can't believe I'm still on here all those years later! So nice to hear your story. It gives lots of hope and some interesting reflection. Like you, I have learnt over the years the best way to talk or not to talk when anxiety steps in for my son.
I had to stand back this year and just let my son be...not suggesting anything, not making any judgements or decisions, but telling him I was here for him and like you, that the anxiety would subside. After several weeks he has started his own way of moving forward. He went and bought some books on managing anxiety, started exercising and taking more interest in life, This is because not only has school been taken out of the equation, but I am just getting on with my life and I think he feels the spotlight has been taken off him after all these years. So he hasn't managed to do his final year (second attempt this year) but he could do it later or become a mature age student at uni later. Or jusr find a job further down the track.

You also reminded me of a conversation we had had many years ago about traumatic births and how this might affect our kids. My son also had a traumatic birth and I still wonder if that had an impact. I suspect you are right. Our sons sound similar in their over thinking and anxiety that hangs around. Sounds like you both have found your way forward and it was so nice of you to pop back and give others support and hope.
Like Simon says, I hope you have found your own strength through this as you deserve to get your own life back. I am just beginning to know what that feels like.
All the best to you and your son and if you ever have a moment to pop by with an update or help any others on here...please do.
Take care,
Linda

Re: A positive update!

Hi Sophy - what fab news..it as about the time I used to be on here how time flies.

So please all is ok

Take care xx

Re: A positive update!

Hi Sophy! ( and Linda! and Sarah T)

I remember you all from 2012.

Great news Sophy, Ive just come on with a positive update too.

I remember us talking about the traumatic births... mine was an emergency caesarean, fascinating , I wouldn't be surprised if there is a connection between their births nad their separation anxieties and later anxieties.

Best wishes to you both and anyone else from 6 years ago.

Re: A positive update!

Hi

Gosh I remember those conversations about traumatic birth! My son was one of those.
So good to hear your good news update. I am just so glad that some of you have come back on here to let others know that things do get better. We aren't quite there yet...but I think that once the idea of school is behind him things will improve dramatically. He is a different person already but isn't actually doing anything (study or work) but perhaps he needs more time yet.
His dad's expectations have, I believe, a lot to do with how quickly he will recover and move on.
Thanks again - great to hear that things do get better!!

all the best,
Linda xx