Hi EC

I hope you come back on here to know you are not alone. Sorry I was delayed in replying.
It has been quiet on here but when people do contribute, it is very helpful.
So sorry to hear what you are going through. It must be so hard for you, and your son. I am sure he is feeling very alone with this too.

Simon has thrown forth some good ideas and suggestions and I agree that any connection they have with others on line is a way to help them not feel so alone. Having one on one might be what he needs but it also might make him feel like he is under the spotlight. You can only give it a try. Let him know you are doing all you can to understand how he is feeling right now and looking for the best way forward.
Small steps are all good. Don't expect too much, as I am sure you don't.

I have a friend whose son has been hospitalised more than once too and his started around the age of your son and the self harming was really bad. He ended up attending a small group of 'at risk' students. I dion't know if there are any educational support groups where you a who might run programs like this? He is finally taking some medication that works and is no longer self harming.
Has anyone talked to you about the possibility of medication? It is, I believe, worth looking into.

Your son's mental health is so much more important right now than his education. Building his self esteem after being hospitalised will take some time. If he does not have friends, try to ensure he still interacts with family in some way and does get out of the house. My son likes to go for drives (me driving) and listens to his music (not all to my taste!,) as it seems to calm him and it stops him being stuck at home.
Let us know how things go when he comes out and someone is always checking in here to respond to your post.
Look after yourself in all this as it can be all consuming!
Linda