Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts. Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings. Whatever, your contribtions are welocme.
What reason did the school give for not allowing your son to be with his friend? Do they know about the history of bullying?
I put a request in to the primary school and the secondary school during their planning of students transitioning and asked that my son be with one particular friend. They did allow this as they were aware of the school refusal history. Whilst your son doesn't have the refusal as part of his history, it sounds like the bullying would have been documented? Can you get the primary school to put together a note of recommendation that he change class to be with that friend?
if they still refuse, they are going to have to give you a very good reason and provide support from their end. What support have they provided so far? See if you can get him into the process of being assessed by CAMHS as there can be a bit of a wait.
Meanwhile, keep him doing things outside of the home if possible. Create situations where he gets to feel he is still ok. It is hard for kids to grapple with what is happening to them. Also look after yourself as it can be overwhelming for everyone involved.
You will have read other posts on the forum and seen that there are often comments about school not being everything. And this is very true.
There can also be alternatives to mainstream schooling. Some kids just don't fit the current system.
If you find the wait for CAMHS is long, can you possibly get your son to see a psychologist or counsellor in the meantime?
See how you go with support from the primary school. Come back any time and let us know how you go. I am usually looking out for posts so come on any time and ask for help or just let off steam!! Remember, you are not alone. It's a rocky road, but there are ways forward and there is help and support out there.