Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts. Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings. Whatever, your contribtions are welocme.
I just wonder what others have found helps when school refusal starts at early or during primary school? Or even earlier?
My feeling is that if someone (and apologies to mothers who may play a different role here as I think for some reason this seems to work better with the father or someone outside family) keeps taking the child to school on a regular basis then it becomes a habit and running away and avoidance behaviour does not set in as the norm for life. Would others agree?
In my case as a sole parent, I did not have that 'other' to take my son and I could or would not take him screaming and kicking as this is also not good for their and your health,
I have met others along the journey, however, who found that if dad or someone else outside of family took their child, there was less of a struggle initially untill in fact, the avoidance went away.
When a child is suffering anxiety to such an extent, perhaps they find it hard to challenge themselves when they know mum has so much empathy and understanding. It is not that father's don't have empathy but they might have just enough' rather than bucket loads that actually helps the situation.
Is our level of empathy, which is instinctive, making things more difficult? And if so, how do we overcome that?
Perhaps it has nothing to do with this but just that if a father or partner is actively involved in taking a child to school, it takes the pressure off mum or the other partner and she/he is less stressed and thus more able to deal with the situation.
I know that most of you are in the throws of the refusal and probably have no answers on this as reflection is impossible, but something for you to ponder as you next take action to try and get your son/daughter to school.