school refusers

a resource for parents 

Please feel free to join our School Refuser message forum discussions. If you have experience of school refusing, you may find it appropriate to respond to previous posts.  Or you may be feeling isolated and wish to express your feelings.  Whatever, your contribtions are welocme. 

  No registration required - just get posting!

School Refusal
Start a New Topic 
View Entire Thread
Re: Year 10

Well done negotiating the return in September! Now, enjoy your summer!

My daughter was a bundle of nerves when we put her on the flight to London last night for a second interview, but so proud of her being able to do that. Not so long ago, she could not get the bus to the next village.

Everyone has different milestones along their journey Some just seem further apart than others. If we can help our offspring to get to the next one, then that is often good enough.


Re: Year 10

Hi Kerry

Sorry to hear of your struggles....know them well!! How have things gone since September? Have the 'conditions' been helpful or are you at a standstill again? Let us know. Remember, you are not alone on this journey.
take care,

Re: Year 10

Hi Linda Sorry it's taken me so long to respond & thank you for asking. Things started off ok in early September but then went downhill again and he has stopped attending. Every day is a battle trying to get him to go in or even to do a bit of work at home, both usually ending in failure. I am just hoping that he will rally enough to try his exams next summer and then get into college & start afresh there. It's such a difficult situation to live with as a single parent and my sympathies go out to everyone who has experienced or is experiencing the same thing with their child because it really does seem as though it will never end, but I know things surely have to change and get better eventually!

Re: Year 10

Hi Kerry

Thanks for the update. It sounds pretty tough for you at the moment. Do you think your son knows if there is anything causing the school refusal or does he just have the feeling he can't fo it? My son also wouldn't do the work ar home and the teachers didn't help by not sending work home as they believed it would make him stay home more!
Looking back, if I had my time around again I would try even harder to find someone to help me to try and get my son to face some of his fears in order to break them down. I did do this with some things and I can now see the difference with those and other ones where he has developed an expertise in avoidance. So if you can get your son to try and gain confidence in things that have nothing to do with school and keep him getting out of the house, intereacting with others where possible, it all does help for later. If you can find a psychologist who specialises in Cognitive behaviour therapy, that is also very helpful
Take care and hope you can find small steps for your son and also both accept where things are right now. It is so much harderr as a sole parent (I am one too) so finding good support for yourself or a creative outlet each week is also very important.
take cade and hope to hear from you again soon