The Travelmeister’s feeling swamped,
The pressure’s getting to ‘er,
Those clever gnomes have raised the bar,
Rhyming verses both true and pure.

They’re better poets, prolific too,
Their tale has pathos and thrills,
She was tempted this year to delegate
This poem to the Secret Squirrels.

But finally she hunkered down
And stayed up two nights straight,
Worked three pencils to a nub,
No more time to procrastinate.

And so I give you this year’s poem,
Set down in verse dyspeptic,
I appreciate your faith in me,
To produce this motley epic:


THE TALE OF THE TRAVELMEISTER - POTOMAC 2007
(or, There’s Gnome Place Like Home, Scarecrow)

I looked us up on Google.earth,
I see vehicles in our driveways,
Piles are stacked up all around,
Getting packed to hit the highways.

If they watch from their satellites,
Map our paths across the nation,
Homeland Security would scratch their heads,
What’s this Labrador migration?

We’re heading south in a rented van,
With extra space quite nifty,
It holds five dogs and all our gear,
On the side is a big red “Thrifty”!

Our fingers are crossed for warm and sunny,
But we’re ready for cold and rain,
The list's double-checked, we’ve packed it all,
Our spouses think we’re insane.

With EZPass we sail through tolls,
Head west at Baltimore,
The dogs are snoring in the back,
While we’re listening to NPR.

We made it, folks! We’re here at last,
We cruise the parking lot,
Greeting friends and searching hard
For that 6-day parking spot.

Ex-pen paddocks, a field of cones,
As far as the eye can see,
Black, yellow, chocolate corralled within,
It’s Labrador ecstasy.

The seminar’s our first event,
Now that we’ve got our bearings,
With learned speakers to educate
The mysteries of Labrador pairings.

The Westies fly in Tuesday afternoon,
The Hyspires drove from Dallas,
Old-timers and newbies congregate
At the Holiday Inn Hilltop “Palace”.

On Wednesday morning classes start,
We’re caffeined and fresh as a daisy,
The dogs are pulling at their leads,
Results could be quite amazing!

At the Gala this evening we gather ‘round
To salute the old and new,
Veterans who give us a solid past,
And Juniors, our future too.

The second day, we’ve hit our stride,
We have some time to watch,
To check out dogs we’ve come to see,
Will that stud be a perfect match?

Thursday night after dogs are fed,
The parties hit full stride,
There’s karaoke in the bar,
And God knows what mischief outside!

Margaritas are flowing now,
An impromptu late night show,
The parking lot’s knee-deep with gnomes,
Wondering “Where'd that Silva go?”

Aspirin for breakfast, it’s Friday morn,
It’s coffee and sleep that we need,
The last few classes, the rescue parade,
Now it’s time for Best of Breed.

We’ve planted chairs around the ring
Like some metal and canvas garden,
It’s time to settle down to watch,
Grab your seats 'cause judging is startin’.

Some of us hold a lead and a dog,
Some hold some shrimp and a wine glass,
Judge Mary Wiest surveys her ring,
Makes her pick, and rewards this year’s finest.

How to describe the change in the air,
Is it exhaustion? Is it the blues?
We fold our chairs and pack our stuff,
Again nomads, we’re back on the move.

Some leave tonight and some stay on,
To have that last leisurely dinner,
Crab cakes and mussels, a bottle of wine,
Tonight everybody’s a winner!

Next morning we’ll take a different route,
A trip to Cabella’s with friends,
Then five more hours driving north and east
That's where this year’s pilgrimage ends.

The show was a hit, the entry stellar,
We’re lucky to have seen it,
Kudos and thanks to the Potomac club,
You’re amazing, and folks, we do mean it!

Now friends from far and friends from near,
From North, South, East, and West,
Please raise your glass, and give a cheer
To our Potomac show - it’s the BEST!


(Note: The Travelmeister wishes all a bon voyage,
wherever your point of origin, whatever your mode
of transport! See you there!)

CLAP......CLAP........CLAP! Bravo Beth Volle....you've done it again! Next time I see you...I shall present you with some brand new #2 pencils to replace the worn down nubs! Have a safe trip.....that goes for your side kick too.

My hat is off....now it's really time for the show!

The TM's skill with words is wonderous,
It's met with cheers in decibles thunderous,
But did you know her truest skill,
Consists of wonderous foods to fill
The stomachs of her travel mates,
Who happily love to fill their plates,
With tasty treats of amazing kinds,
To sate the stomach, soul, and mind?
So if you see her at the show,
Stay close by where ere she go.
Your reward is sure to be wonderous.
So what if your thighs go home thunderous!

Our collective hats are off to you and we raise out tiny arms in a wave of admiration ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
clearly, noone does it better than the "Poemeister"

safe trip and we'll set up base camp under your car

Well my goodness Beth, I was getting nervous that there would be no poem this year.

NOW Potomac can begin!! Thanks for the laughs, you are truly talented and I bet you have made a lot of people smile with this one.

Another great tale oh great Travelmeister!! Looking forward to seeing you there Beth. Safe journey!!

The Rhyming Chronicles continue!
(An Homage to Beth Volle)


That’s the spirit!
Way to go!
What a way to
Start the show!!!!

You have a true gift
You use it so well.
Our spirits you lift
With the stories you tell.

Your rhyme is creative,
Crafty and clever.
It’s one to enjoy
Forever and ever.

Potomac draws nearer
And with it a crowd
Of show folk, vendors,
And breeders most proud!

The Best of the Best,
From far and from near
All come to Potomac
In April each year.

Each hoping to dazzle
And catch the judge’s eye.
To cheer on their friends
(and hoping to stay dry).

The entry’s impressive,
The Cream of the Crop.
But please don’t forget
To take time and shop!

We’ll see you there,
Though we’ll stay well hidden
Our secrets we’ll keep
No matter how bidden!

Keep your eyes on the judging
While there’s so much to see
We might hide behind you
And tickle your knee.

Your verses inspire,
Excite and yes, tease.
Our gnomish appetites
For verse you appease.

So our caps doff to you
And your true poetic nature.
Beth Volle, the Bard-meister
In our own “gnomenclature.”

Such talent with words! Such artistry! It brings tears of joy to this Gnome fan's eyes.

If only cousin Roman could make it to the show.

Kathy's right, I'm a foodie,
Hospitality's my thing,
We'll be snacking and yacking
By the Best of Breed ring.

Cheese and crackers, a fruit plate,
Tex-Mex layers with chips,
West Coast wine, Nancy's hummus,
To help pad our hips.

Of course there'll be shrimp,
And I don't mean my height,
Stop by during judging,
Say hello, have a bite!

I think we need a book of verse together to pay tribute to Poem-tomac! We could help fund rescue....

Wow Beth that was FABOO!!! Everyone travel safely!

Thank you Beth, what talent! The Florida Gnome patrol
will be there in full force!

Becky, a huge part of the gnome game is staying
"anonymous"

Gosh, I did not know the rules! WE'll hardly
be anonymous when we get to the Specialty.

Aaah, Beth, another great ode to our travels and stay in dear ole Merryland--- It always sets the tone for good spirits and good weather!

Kathy C.--- your poem is absolutely hilarious!!!

Bravo! That was wonderful!

Good luck to everyone, and have FUN!

Magic! Magic!
Are you here?
Abra-ca-dabra!
We appear.

Magic! Magic!
Gnomes are we.
Magic gmones
Of mystery.

Magic! Magic!
Is not hard.
Frammin' on the gym-jam!
Pick a card.

Magic! Magic!
If you try,
The hand is quicker
Than the eye.

Magic! Magic!
In the air.
Bim-sal-a-bim!
There is nothing there.

Magic! Magic!
Re-appear.
Find the card
Behind your ear.

Magic! Magic!
From the kitchen.
Presto-change-o!
You're a chicken!

Magic! Magic!
Change you back.
Pull a rabbit
From my hat.

Magic! Magic!
Whim and wham.
Watch what happens,
Alla-ka-zam!

Magic! Magic!
If you yawn,
Hocus-Pocus!
We are gone.

seems as though Bimppen & Schepgel got into the funny mushrooms again!