I'm in the mood for humor... Post your favorite!

Here's one to start (sorry Jets fans):

A guy walks into a bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a Jets jersey helmet and is holding Jets pom poms.

The bartender says,"Hey! No pets allowed in here! You´ll have to leave!"

The man begs, "Look I´m desperate. We´re both big fans, my TV is broken, and this is the only place we can see the game!"

After securing a promise that the dog will behave and warning him that if there is any trouble they will be thrown out, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game.

The game begins with the Jets receiving a kickoff. They march down field stop at the 30,and kick a field goal. With that the dog jumps up on the bar and begins walking up and down the bar giving everyone a high-five.

The bartender says,"Wow that is the most amazing thing I´ve ever seen! What does the dog do if they score a touchdown?"

"I don´t know," replies the owner, "I´ve only had him for four years."

Ok, Nancy I am most definately up for "doggy humor" today!!
So here goes...
As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.

"Well," said the woman, "I guess I'd like to be rich."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.

"And I wouldn't mind being a young and beautiful princess."
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.

"Your third wish?" asked the Fairy Godmother. "Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?"
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.

As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, "I bet you are sorry you had me neutered!"

Little boy: "Mommy, Mommy, the puppies are here."

Mother: "Why, did you see them?"

Little boy: "No, but the dog's empty."

A guy is driving around the back woods of Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running."
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in."
"I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of that s**t. "

A boy and his father were walking in the park and they see two dogs mating. The boy says to his father " Dad what are they doing" the father says " they are making puppies". They continue with there walk and go home. Later that night the boy hears noise in his parents room and he goes to see what it is and he catches his parents making love. He says "Dad what are you doing to mom" Dad says" go back to bed your mother and I are making you a new brother. The little boy looks at his dad and says" turn her over I'd rather have a puppy.

Why did Helen Keller have yellow legs?

Her dog was blind too.