Does anyone know of an educational article or have a polite way to educate a family who has pick puppy syndrome. The family is afraid they are getting a left over puppy or they will not bond with this puppy since they do not have anything to "pick" from

Sounds like the same people that contacted me last week. I sent a reply and never heard back.

Easy - I select pups for families based on matching them up If I do have one left after 8 weeks I just tell folks I save the best for last!!!

These are not people I would deal with at all. IF I have to convince someone to buy one of my babies, then they need to move on down the road. This is a big red flag, why bother ! You will be hounded everytime this puppy stubs it's toes, or has a crate accident, this puppy will never be good enough for them. Not my job to educate ignorance, it's my job to fine loving , caring, people to take care of my babies, no matter what pick that puppy was !
And I always sell from the bottom of the litter first, so if there is a puppy left , it was one with the best structure , most outgoing, and people pleasers.

" it's my job to fine loving , caring, people to take care of my babies, no matter what pick that puppy was"

AMEN!

I always tell people that while I might not observe my puppies 24 hours per day, I observe them FAR more than someone who has been standing in my house "X" number of minutes. Also, I watch them while they play, eat, play fight,interact with strangers, experiences new surfaces, rooms, etc. I know which pup will need a firmer voice, possibly a more experienced owner, which pup is best suited to the hunting home, the home with other pets, the home with the 3 darling children, etc. and I work very hard to match the right puppy to the right family, and no one has ever been disappointed in that choice. If they still don't get it after that, they can head to some place where the breeders don't care which puppy goes where.

Best cure I know is to tell them to get their puppy elsewhere. This particular puppy is no longer available to them (and stick to it).

Why would you want to be bothered with anyone like this?

I do not give puppy buyers the choice of puppy. I try to match each puppy with the right family.

I pick for families too although I do value their opinion since we have a puppy cam and they are always watching the pups. Some people have this thing about "looking in a puppy's eye" and knowing that is their puppy. What do you say to that stupid approach? I tell them that puppies have good days and bad days just like us and the best puppy for them may be sleepy or have to go to the bathroom at the moment they want to lock eyes. It also helps to do something like the Volhard test. We do that with every puppy at the 7th week and it cements who goes where, along with the info families have told me in their questionnaire. If worse comes to worst, I tell the insistent buyer that they've locked eyes with MY puppy and they can't have her. That's my last resort.

There is nothing educational I know of to help explain to a pushy family why we as breeders choose or help choose their pup.

If they can't trust us that far then do we really want them to have 1 of our pups? If they think we're giving them leftovers as I've heard people call them then they don't belong with a pup from a good, reliable breeder. They don't care about clearances usually and I've found they always want the lightest cream pup possible.

I've had it happen and usually today, different then 20 years ago, I wind up not having a puppy for them at all. They always wind up problematic no matter which pup they get, it's never good enough.

I keep the best until the last week, for me if indecisive between 2. If they don't want a pup I possibly considered keeping for myself I send them along their way. I also give a heads up to breeders in my state so they know what's out there looking. They can decide if they want to work with them. Usually, I'm thanked for the heads up b/c they get the same line from the same people.

I pick the pups for the familys. I watch them for weeks. I make the match and tell them right up front that I do. I ask, is your family active, do you plan to do ob work, therapy work, have teenagers. All this matters. And I do save the best for last. Unless it matches with someone early. They know that makes sense. They look at heads. Look for cute activity but don't really know the pup like I will. And the others are right, if that is what matters so much go somewhere else.

Another thought I have had while reading this thread is the fact I never say there's 1, 2 etc available, I simply say yes there are males or females or no, there aren't. There IS no first or last pick, I simply speak of availability, based on the chronological order that people were placed on the approved list. So if I am placing for example, 5 males from the litter, I am working with 5 families to match the traits of the puppy to those of the families. I make that really clear, and no one ever questions why they're getting the "last" pup. The OP might find that approach helpful.

Thanks everyone. I hate this part. In my gut I knew this lady was a tad over-the-top when she was asking weeks ago how fast can she send me a deposit, when I was not even sure if I would have a puppy available. I just sent her an email asking her not to send a deposit and that after reflecting, my puppy is just not a good match for her. She is going to flip out I sure hope she doesn't harass me by phone...

I just want to share the email I got back... as I was expecting the worse. It makes me feel more confident in making the right decision in the future

My fiance and I have been talking about this a lot, and I do agree with the decision you and your fiance made. I really hope you dont think we are being pretentious in our puppy selection and the process, as we truly would love any puppy that we adopted. My fiance is very adamant about having a connection with a puppy, and has always met and selected his puppies over the years, based on interacting with them, and their personalities. I completely understand that every breeder is different in their selection policies, and fully agree with the decision you and your husband made, at the best interest of your puppies. We love dogs, and were both raised with labs as part of our family. I honestly think that my fiance was worried that without interacting with the puppies, he might not have a chance to connect with them,that it might not be as stocky, or as outgoing, etc. Not that we would be disappointed about that, because we would love him just as much as any other puppy. I dont know how to express this without making us sound like cold-hearted people - we really, really, arent. We LOVE animals, and love labs, and are going to be happy with any puppy we adopt.

That being said, I really hope you understand what the intent of my email was. I know we wouldnt be disappointed in the last puppy, and I really, really hope you know that we would love the last puppy just as much as the first.

I'm not saying this to convince you and your husband to let us submit a deposit. I just want you to know that we are good people, and we love animals. We would never, ever, ever love one less, because it wasnt the one we "picked". I respect your decision to not accept a deposit for us, in that you are doing what you feel is best for the puppies. I respect that tremendously, as I have run into a lot of breeders to who let anyone adopt their puppies - and that is just not right, in my book.

Again, thank you for the opportunity and I wish you all the best. You truly are one of the best breeders I have had communications with, and the decisions you make are highly commendable, as they are always in the best interest of your puppies, not your wallet.

Did she want one for him for some hunting also ? This just sounds a little familier. When I said Limited and all, I did not hear back. Also had a black male already ? Just gave me a flag ?

They still haven't lost their pick puppy syndrome. I would let them go elsewhere if I were in your shoes. I think no matter what pup they wind up with, it won't be -blocky- enough, connected to them enough and something will always be wrong unless they get their choice. It's just my opinion. You need to do what you feel is right for you and your pups.

I have an information sheet that I send to each prospective family along with the application. Part of the information is: "We breed to keep something for ourselves, so the pick puppy or puppies are always ours, and we usually decide at about 8 weeks of age because at that time we can tell if they might be breeding or show quality. After that, I try to match puppies to families, and I try to give a choice and honor preferences if possible." I've only had one person be anxious about this. I almost didn't sell him a puppy but he turned out to be an excellent home. I didn't try to explain anything to him - just pointed him back to my information sheet.

When people come to see the puppies at 4-5 weeks, some of them key in on a particular puppy. I gently tell them that I make the picks, but I will honor their preference if possible. I also insist they identify a second choice puppy. Picking two puppies seems to make them obsess less about the one they first focused on.

Just reading through this post I have to say we have had to let people go also. It is just such a relief.( on both sides) I dont know why we get ourselves all worried and worked up about it. Most of the time the people just move on.