I got an e-mail today from a pup family who has one only child which has begged for a dog for many years, child is 12 years old and they finally felt ready for a pup. Pup is 11 weeks old, went home 3 weeks ago. Family has never had a dog but seemed to meet my criteria with interview. Well - they wonder why pup still gets up every am at 5:45, don't like it that pup sniffs all the time instead of going for a nice walk on leash. The comment that concerns me most is - "Pup will not play find "boy" game. She is very 'aggressive' and barks and tugs instead of finding boy."

"Even when we are being gentle with her and watching TV, she starts acting 'aggressive' with jumping around and barking. She tugs at our clothes and growls." In other words she acts like a pup when they ignore her. Temperament test at 7 weeks showed her as very moderate and trainable - followed examiner, made a little eye contact and settled right away when turned on back, etc.

Their final comment "We must stop this 'aggression' before it gets out of hand!" (As a mom of a large family, I think they sat on their son - he was very shy - and are sitting on the pup - they need 5 more kids to show them reality!)

I refered them to an AKC obedience club in their area for puppy classes but wonder if I should just offer to take pup back. Not sure they really were as ready for a pup as they thought. They've read every book and watched every training DVD out there and seem to expect pup to be fully trained already at 11 weeks.

How would you handle this?

I'd take the pup back. They obviously don't have a realistic attitude. Get the pup back before it gets out of hand. JMO

Get that puppy back! I took one back some years ago when the buyers called to tell me the puppy wasn't working out because he didn't sit still for their 10-year old daughter to play "dress-up" with! I drove out to get him immediately and later heard they got a toy poodle that enjoyed being dressed up LOL.

Sounds like they need an older dog - maybe someone has a retired dog that can be placed with them?

Please, take puppy back ASAP!

And, although "never had a dog" families can often become my best puppy homes, weeks of diligence coaching, preparing and "warning" about what lies ahead MUST be done before these families get on my list.

If anyone balks at the early hours, the time it takes during the day, or if a kid shies away from a puppy trying to lick at their face, I advice them to look for an older dog.

Are you close by that you could help? Perhaps take the puppy overnight/over the weekend to give them a little break? Maybe they are just a little overwhelmed/tired? But my guess is that if you offer to take the puppy back, this family will jump at the chance.

Good luck!!

Familys like this are nothing but trouble. They will never be happy with their dog. Get the puppy back if you can.

The puppy will never be happy there. Take him back if you can get him!

There is a "pet" labrador forum that has lots of experienced and compassionate pet owners. There are about 2 new "puppy driving me crazy" posts each way. Everyone is very helpful with coaching and suggestions. There are several good breeders who check in there to make sure the advice is sound.

I would say that the vast majority of new owners get through it with the help of the members.

It's labrador-retriever.net

Maybe having advice from others just like them will help them feel that this is normal.

Offer to take the puppy back and tell them if/when you sell it you will split the proceeds with them. If they go for that deal you know they really want out. If they balk and say how much they love the puppy yadayadayada refer them to the pet site above.

Just give them their money back and get that puppy home. They will never be happy. Sorry, please get the pup back. Experience talking .

Getting the pup back is priority number one.

Call them and tell them you are soooo sorry, but it sounds like the puppy is not going to work out. No criticism, suggestions, fault finding, or arguments. Just sound sympathetic. Give them their money back. It is the right thing for the puppy, for you and for the people.

As said, they're unrealistic. I would insist the pup comes back before they ruin her. Offer what you need to, even if it's what they paid.

Hopefully they'll agree to return her.

Go to their house, scoop up puppy,ask politely for paperwork, say thank you very much, and turn on your heel, and LEAVE !

Ordinarily I would say get the puppy back. HOWEVER, I had a similar situation several years ago and instead of immediately taking the dog back, I suggested the pup (same age) come back to visit for a weekend. The kid's arms were like pin cushions from being bitten and the puppy was out of control. He had no boundaries.

In two days, I worked on bite inhibition. Reinforced a couple commands like 'sit' and 'off' with positive shaping (the pup was totally running the show), and then invited the family back to see the pup at my house and how well behaved he was. I then followed the pup to their house and we did the same exercises in their yard/home. They were in tears of joy that the pup was so smart! They offered to pay me for the weekend and I refused-- I felt I owed it to the pup to train the family!!! I instructed the child on how to properly interact (mom and dad were clueless) and told them they had to come back to my house every weekend for refresher courses until the pup had all vaccinations and could go to puppy kindergarten.

They were SOOOO grateful and did exactly what I told them and the whole family started kindergarten at 16 weeks. That dog is the best pet ever, so spoiled and the family provides more referrals to me than I could ever fill!

Sometimes the knee jerk reaction is too much. If they haven't had experience with pups maybe they just don't know and are looking for guidance. Pick up the phone, invite them over, and see what you can do. You always have the option to offer to buy him back, but give the family a chance too.

Take the pup back. Why would you need to baby sit one out of many. More to it than nipping. If they are finding fault with a pup it will only continue.

Get the pup back. You will feel better and so will the pup!

If they go to trainers claiming to have an aggressive puppy, chances are good they will told to manhandle the puppy to show dominance and your nice, moderate puppy will be trained into a fearful, reactive dog. I've seen this happen.

Unless you can intervene yourself or send them to a specific trainer that you know, I would take back the puppy. There are too many trainers who are either incompetent or more than willing to feed a family's concerns about their puppy in order to land a client. And when their methods make things worse, the puppy and you as the "bad" breeder will be blamed.

sometimes there is just no getting through or pleasing certain buyers. They don't know what they really want, one minute the love the puppy and the next it is a bad dog. I have one buyer that I did everything possible except live with her to show her all her issues where basic every day "I am a puppy" issues.
I offered to take it back and refund....that still wasn't what they wanted....you cant please every buyer. You just have to tweak your initial process so you weed out owners with too high expectations that dont want to listen.

I have found in the last 5-6 years that more rigorous evaluating of potential pup homes is required, people seem to lack common sense and so I require 3 visits here with the litter before taking pup home. First if they cannot get here for 3 Saturday open house's, (5 - 6 - 7 weeks) then I reason they will not have time for a demanding new pup, next I want to watch the interaction of people with a litter of rowdy Lab pups. I have had a few "misses" but I get the pup back immediately before pup is ruined and at least in my experience it is always the unrealistic expectations of the pup owner, not a problem pup.

Get your puppy back.....even if you have to buy him back.

Thought I'd update. Appreciate all the responses. Offered to take her back for full refund which family did not want. We think the case was complicated by their relative having a pup from the same litter with a puppy heart murmur - with that pup husband wanted to wait for puppy to grow out of murmur and wife didn't. From talking to the initial family, we realize wife of murmur puppy was complaining about "defective" pup. We took murmur pup back, initial family says they are very happy with pup (!) and they are following through with a trainer which I found for them. I gave trainer a heads up. I hope it will all turn out well - they seemed more reasonable and balanced with follow-up.

I do have a new question for my screening - "If you are married or have a live in mate, how do they feel about a new puppy?" As I think the murmur puppy wife was never really on board with purchase and then she had to make her relatives unhappy too. Ah, the joy of some puppy families.

How do you possibly have all that time for visits?!
I know for one thing, I like to show on weekends, relax, work my dogs, etc. I work all week and that is MY time.
I do a lot of phone talking, which is what I feel I owe to them although I get hoarse from it all! LOL
I don't usually allow any visits until they go home. If I don't like them on that day, I hand their deposit back.
My homes have almost ALL been fabulous!

"I do have a new question for my screening - "If you are married or have a live in mate, how do they feel about a new puppy?" As I think the murmur puppy wife was never really on board with purchase and then she had to make her relatives unhappy too. Ah, the joy . . ."

It is usually advisable to meet everyone in the family if it is a local puppy purchase. The wife is usually the key individual for at least a couple phone conversations. If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!How the children mind their parents and treat dogs is another key thing to observe. I never forgot the family with small children, with another baby born during the last week of our phone conversations, where the dad thought that getting mom a puppy for Mother's Day would make her life complete! She seemed to be on board, but something wasn't quite right. (The gut feeling is usually right.) I only found out about the baby because mom was in the hospital the day they were supposed to visit for the first time. What on earth was that family thinking? Were they going to leave the secret newborn in someone's care when they came for the meet and greet if the baby wasn't born so late? Amazingly, mom didn't really want a puppy by the time she came home with the newborn, so letting them down was not a problem. I think that they were just "broody" in anticipation of the baby, and somehow thought a puppy would be just the ticket. A few years later, they did get a puppy elsewhere, when they had time for a four-footed toddler.

I definitely agree with meeting everyone and seeing how the kids interact. I had one family where the kids did not like the puppies at all and tried to stand on one foot so a puppy wouldn't touch them! I know the kids can adjust and enjoy a puppy but it as least something I like to discuss. This particular family did not end up with a pup from me for a number of reasons but the kids attitude and how the parents dealt with it was the first red flag....