It happens often - but never stings until it hits home, right?

Hey... how did you handle it? No slander - No naming names, but wow - what a gut shot! I am in shock. Always thought I was a great friend and partner - but who knows? I can't get them to respond.
Did you ignore it? try to talk it out? what?

I will take the high road - but fear the other person won't. How did you deal with the fall out - if there was any? This friendship/partnership is very public and 10 yrs old. I just want to get out with my reputation in tact.

I with them well - but wish myself "weller" old family saying (wink).

It's sad isn't it? Please no ignorance or name calling like I said - just good advice on how to get through this.

TIA,
Bummed Out

Oops - that should have read "I wish them well".
My bad.

If this is a dog partnership, I would hope that both parties would consider what is best for the dogs involved. They didn't ask to be put in the middle of this. Sometimes people grow apart, it happens and you are better off to just move on. As far as your reputation, there are those that should know you well enough to know the real you. We all hurt other peoples feelings without meaning to, and perhaps you have done this to your friend/partner. If you really want to know the reason, keep asking. Don't believe what other people say because it may just be gossip. If the other person won't answer you are going to have to walk away and go on with your life.
I hope everything works out for you and your dogs

Wise statement from my husband years ago.

"You will have many acquaintances in life but very few true friends".
So very true! I agree with poster above. Keep your thoughts to yourself and don't listen to rumors. Let her go.

This should not be here IMO.
It's going to bring out the demons of the board and they will tear down the friends that dumped them. You'll see
This issss a private matter.

To Clarify - oh no worries that - both parties take care of the dogs very well - that would never be an issue.

To New Breeder - if the demons get out of control - Jill will take the thread down _ so relax. And I believe I was very clear about not "frying" anyone by name, just asking advice on how others may have gotten through similar circumstances. I did not ask to fix anything for me - I have my big girl panties on and can do that myself.

To Diane - kiss your husband for me!! That is what I was looking for - great advice about "true friends."

You all have a happy day - mine is looking great>
Horse therapy today!

Maybe your friend is just taking a cooling off period before he/she responds?

When I got into this dog game I heard about this kind of stuff and said no way would that happen to me. Well, bought a dog, dog did not turn out. There was conflict over dog so that ended relationship. Dog was taken care of.

Breeder's friends hash up gossip about what happened to new people in Lab community. These new people snub me at shows. They had not heard my side. Or, is it any of anyone else's business??? NO. It was between breeder and I. I have had other agreements with other breeders that worked great.

Therefore, what I do is. I am nice to breeder who I had dealing with at show. I am actually nice to all. But know who is spreading gossip. I am nice to person who is spreading gossip at shows. But, I will never recommend them or offer a hand to support. My hand is always reached out to true friends.

Sadly this stuff happens.

- Don't slander them, no name calling, don't bring it up with others.

- It's between you and them. The more you talk about it the worse the story will be twisted (grape vine) and slander will get. Don't feed it.

- Be brave enough to walk away and cut your losses. Everyone will heal faster, move on and less friendships will be lost.

- Take the high road, be honest. Keep showing up to shows and be a good sport and kind to others. Genuine!

- Know that you will have a lot of acquaintances and you will only have some good friends. That's the reality of life.

The pain of the loss of the friendship is the greatest but you can do it, one day at a time get past it. Now get out of your ring corners and move on with life and let this die down.

I wish you well and your ex partner too.

WELL SAID Allison!!!

Yes, well said Allison. You're bright & right on!

This quote about acquaintances & friends was 1 a loved, deceased family member taught me since I was a youngster. It's true! 1 true, good, real friend in a lifetime & we're all lucky.

I've ended 2 breed friendships but don't have partnerships or co-owns. if I ever do it will be with someone I can trust in capital T's.

You mentioned no names & there's nothing wrong with asking for advice on here. Anyone that tells you it doesn't belong here thinks they're the board puh-lice as Ellen DG calls her funny cop blotter.

So speak your mind, get it off your chest and listen to good advice if you want to. I hope it becomes less painful with time & you realize it was all for the best. I bet you will find out things given time that you were unaware of making you feel better and worse initially. You'll heal and find new people on the same page as you are.

Don't allow anyone to tell you what to do, if you need board or friends help, go for it. Good wishes for you & your dogs & may your hurt heart heal.

As a new breeder you're judgemental. Let the OP do it her way. She didn't blame or knock anyone and used no names.

You might learn something from this situation. As a new breeder you have much to learn but we all have more to learn no matter how many decades we're breeding. Enough said.

kudos Allison :) Times change, people change, feelings get hurt, life goes on. Dog shows are fun, but they are not the most important thing in life.Go play with your dogs and horses and move on with your life

Kudos to Allison...although she won't recognize me in this post, I've bred to her boy Teddy and consider her to be a breath of fresh air, her advice won't steer you wrong.

The same thing happened to me about 5 years ago, I confided in 2 friends that I could trust explicitly...they let me vent when I needed to and reminded me to take the high road. Fast forward 5 years and a whole lot of info about the other party has finally come to light and now I have been congratulated for sticking to my guns and doing it in an honorable way.

The moral of the story...handle it quietly and gracefully and you'll be fine.

If you have been in dogs long enough you have experienced some sort of loss of a friend. It happens. Take the high road and be cordial. It will go a long way.

It is sad and heart wrenching for sure...but you learned a valuable lesson. There are a lot of People In the dog world who will still want to be your friend!

Allison is dead on!

Don't bother trying to defend yourself if you hear rumors about yourself. Your enemies won't believe it and your friends don't need it.

It is like my mother always told me when things did not turn out "When one door closes another one opens". There could be another friend/partner right around the corner or someone else you already know.

What was said before. Plus always be pleasant, polite, and civil to this person in public. Say hello. Say congratulations. Even if the person ignores you dont sink to that level. You don't have to have a conversation. Don't let any of your friends take sides. Tell them that they can be friends with both of you and what happened has nothing to do with them.

And the people that take sides are not worth worrying about either. Sometimes at shows it is hard though when a group starts laughing and speaking out loud to be hurtful. Sometimes I just want to give up the sport because of this.

It can make it very hard. I was treated this way by a group for no real reasons other than I did not want to play follow the leader as they did. I had to let the gossip and talk roll off for years, but I stuck it out with my dogs and forged on. Now I am still out in the shows and most of them are all gone. So don't let it discourage you believe in your own journey.