Word Woman suggested you go back and read through the old responses on this subject; there are many good replies there. I saved it all for future studying, and I am adding one of my responses here. I can send you the rest of them by email if you like, but it is too long to add here.

If a person could make COMPLETE amends to a wrong doing then the restoration should be done to correct the matter.
Examples: a stolen object should be returned and repentance take place, and then the thief should never steal again.
If you tell a lie you should retract the lie (especially if it has caused someone some harm), confess that the lie was told, and never lie again. But it can never be COMPLETE because the lie has been told and people most of the time do not forget or forgive.
More seriously, if adultry is committed, it should be confessed, repented of and the marriage restored if it is possible before ANY OTHER STEPS ARE TAKEN.
If it cannot be reconciled, and forgiveness taken place, then the innocent party (if they can be "innocent" for the lack of forgiveness) can be granted a divorce. At that point both parties should remain unmarried (and chaste) if they wish not to commit any more sin. And being sexually oriented as we humans are, this is a very HARD thing to accomplish.
Now if a remarriage takes place, then sin is again involved, and yet another sin is also committed if they divorce in trying to solve the problem. So the thing to do then, is to admit the sins before God and remain in that marriage, and remain faithful to the end of your days.
You repent and confess your sin, lay it in God's hands and let Him be the judge! "Go, and sin no more".

so lost, i have been in your situation an all i could do is pray and keeping searching. feel free to email me if you wish. gods word says be anxious over nothing but all things through prayer.


i hope to hear from you,

your sister in christ

stephanie parker

I was married for 34 1/2 yrs. It took a lot to leave because I understood marriage was between one man and one woman for life, except for adultery or fornication. I have studied this subject for many years and do not claim to be an expert by far, but if you would like some one on one input, please contact me at moocow_38635@yahoo.com. I'll be more than happy to share my experiences and let you ask any question you have. We can find answers in God's word.

I do pray the Lord will give you strength to make wise choices.

So lost,
My first husband left me on his grounds of adultery. I married my second husband (I married in the Lord) wouldn't take the lead and get a job and support us and I was advised by the elders to move back to my hometown and find work. They said I would be better off (which I am). It was agreed by my husband that I move back but he already had in mind to dump me if I moved back and he told me he wasn't coming with me and it was over if I moved. He said he was moving when he found a job and not to contact him or look for him and to leave him alone. He left me no choice but to move. This move was made almost two years ago and he has not contacted me once since I moved. He has not taken any legal steps to divorce me. I have gone to see him once before he moved over a year ago and I continue to write him snail mail, email him and send hello cards, birthday cards and gift and Christmas card and gift. He moved and didn't leave a phone number or address but I do know he lives 1000 miles or more from me. I do love him very much and I am once again in another predicament that I don't know what to do biblical wise. My husband was a minister and he knows what the Bible teaches on this. So sorry, I can't give you any advice but know that I am supportive as I know what it is like to go through the trials of divorce. As for me, I am still married in the eyes of God and our government to my second husband. I have no choice but to remain separated or reconcile as the scriptures mention in I Cor. I would like to reconcile but how can I if he won't return my mail or call me?

I'll also be happy to talk to you through email. Just let me know and I'll send you one as I'd rather not leave me email addy on the board right now.

In the meantime, I haven't posted this about myself but several ladies on the board know of this so please I ask you all to keep me in your prayers. It is very hard being separated from your spouse that you still love very much.

Love,
Kathy