Hi - my son has his first GCSE tomorrow and anxieties are running high to say the least - first time in a while they have raised their heads. He didn't manage his tuition today - first time he has refused this which resulted with the tutor and i having a "coffee morning" whilst he stayed in his room. This proves the anxieties never really go away. After a very very very long talk i think he is OK and i have taken the pressure off as he can always re-sit as he is taking it a year early anyway. He has done so so well and i think i was secretly hoping this was all behind us, but it is quite apparent it is not. Good luck to all who have exams this time - just do your best thats all we parents ask.

Sar xx

Hi Sarah,

Your son has done well to get this far and work his way through the anxiety as much as he can. Sometimes they just end up having to shut down, don't they. It must be hard on you both. Exam time is not easy for anyone, let alone if you have terrible anxiety. As you say - maybe taking the pressure off might help (the expectation does get out of proportion, doesn't it - an inevitable side effect of the anxiety).
Stay strong - I am sure something will turn up to move forward again :-)
Linda

Hi - well we are sitting waiting for the exam to start at 1pm. The school and centre have been fantastic and have allowed him to take the exam at home - he will have 2 independant teachers with him to make sure it is a controlled environment and the papers are due to arrive here at 12.45 !! very James Bond !! My son has had a lot of pressure recently as my mum - who lives with us is in hospital after having an op last week - she was very poorly afterwards for quite a while we were all very concerned and he misses her like mad. Our young neighbour died at the weekend - healthy fit 30 year old had a heart attack and that is one of my sons biggest fears his heart - wow so its been a tough time for him well all of us !!

Good luck honey you will be fine - and hey you can do it again next year.

love to you all
Sar xx

Well that seemed to go really well, and he had a huge smile on his face when he finished. He was a bit shocked when school turned up at the door with the papers though lol but all in all not a bad day at all.

Sarah xx

hi its good to hear he did well and that the school let him take the exam in the house .as i know my son would not be able to sit with all the other kids in alarge room and do an exam!we are currently getting 5hrs tuition a week in the library.my son is enjoying this and has said he has learnt more in the last two weeks than in 6 months at the referral centre.the tutors give him homework too.they are also filling in the gaps(from yr 5-9)that he missed in maths.even though they still think he is up to gcse standard.its still nice to know thay have an option!!!!good luck donna

Sarah

So sorry to hear you are having an extra rough time, well done to M for sitting exam, this lets him see that he is more than capable, hopefully it will give him a boost for the future.

Take care
Dorothy x

OOOhh Dorothy - it gets worse - just got back from A&E as my son was attacked at school ...........arararararar.

Sar xx

omg is he ok

Hi Donna

A little sore but other than that ok. I really dont know where to go with this - this is the 2nd time he has been hopitalised for the same injury - basically kicked where he shouldnt be kicked. He is still under the hospital from a few months ago when it first happened - this has just aggravated it the thing is the boy involved knew this ! i bet the school are thinking why is it her son lol

Anyway lets see what Monday brings.
Sarah x

hi sarah,my son is the same he was bullied in primary then i changed school.he then went to secondary and his anxiety came back as everyone called him gay as he only had one friend,then they would pinch his money etc.i home schooled then he started a new school then his anxiety got too much so he went to the local referral centre this he coped for 4 month then a boy threatened to knife him.my son is waiting to be assesssed for social communications problems,sorry im not saying its your son just unfortunately when they have aweakness the bullies know or if they have long periods off school they get bullied .i thought your son had tutors at home.there is no way i can my son near the school!!!!hope hes feeling better soon poor thing take care donna

Hi Donna
This is my youngest son - who is not a school refuser who will stick up for himself i was just winging about yet another trauma in our lives at the moment. Bullying is so awful, i was in school only a week ago about it and hey it happened again. I bet the school think oh here she is again lol.

Take care

Sar xx

hi sarah i was confused i also have a12yr old daughter.she unlike my son is very resilliant and everyones friend.has no probs at school.sorry your sons having a hard time.does he understand why his brother doesnt go to school!.my daughter sometimes says arent i good i go to school!she doesnt reallu understand her brother wants to go but cant!take care donna

Donna - My second son does sometimes find it hard and i have to say we have had a few "sticky moments" when he has point blank refused to go but few and far between. He has seen what my SR son has gone through with meeting with CAHMS, psychiatrists, psycologists, doctors etc so he sees he has a hard time. One thing he does do when they argue is throw it in his face, but again thats not very often.

I think siblings do go through it and they say a high % of them do have problems with school, pleeeeeeeease don't let that happen as i couldn't go through it again.

Hey we have to cope with whatever is thrown at us because if we don't who will ??

Sarah xx

Sarah

Thats awful, if school won't do anything then you should involve the police.

Take care
Dorothy x

Hi Dorothy

The thing is will it make it worse for him at school ? The child involved apologised on x box last night and asked if i would invlove the police so i think or hope he has learnt his lesson. It will be interesting to know what the school did Friday afternoon. My biggest fear is that he starts not wanting to go to school because of it all - that my sound a little selfish but boy could any of us go thought it all again ? One family that go to our CAMHS has 5 school refusers - can you imagine !!!!

Lots of love

Sar xx

Sarah - sorry you have had a bad time of it. You could do without the added anxiety for your other boy. I do hope you can get to the bottom of it and maybe the boy apologising is a good step and you just have to keep an eye on it.

Stay strong - you are a very good mum to your boys and I am sure things will get better for you and your family.
Take care,
Linda

Hi Linda

Thank you for your kind words they are so appreciated. Having a good cry at the moment as i just feel as though i am sinking - funny thing is it is nothing to do with SR - that part of our lives is fine !!

Thanks once again.

Sar xx

Sorry to hear you are feeling so low. Sometimes hard times come in multiples. And it always feels like everyone else is having a good time of it and you are stuck with the family problems/illness etc. Stay strong - things good will come your way I am sure. How is your mum going? If there is a spare moment in there somewhere - do something for yourself - even if just for a very short time.
Take care and hoping life improves for you soon.
Linda

Sorry ive been a bit off this week - very tired with one thing and another - to top it all i was in A&E for four hours last night as believe it or not was bitten by a rat !!

It can only get better lol

Sarah xx

sorry to hear you are having such bad luck at the moment,hows the bite how did you get bitten by a rat!!!!!donna

Hi Donna - it was my sons pet rat lol oh well. Apart from that my week is going so much better. My 2nd son has always struggled in a morning to get up and go to school and of course my fears always come flooding back about my SR son. Son no 2 does go ( most of the time ) but mornings are a battle to say the least. Well all this week he has been an absolute super star and got up dressed and ready without any problems so that makes me feel so so much better. SR son has settled down again and mum seems to be making good progress.

I know this forum is about SR and some of my posts are not subject related but it does help and thank you all guys.

Take care Sarah xx