Hi Linda - first of all i'm sending you lots of love and hugs. With regards to your son saying he wants to be "normal" remember and tell him he is - he just had issues with school. Many children have different types of problems its just that ours of so apparent. I remember talking to M's primary school head after he became a refuser at senior school, I was in tears explaining what was going on, and his reply was " well if not being able to go to school is his only problem then he's lucky as school isn't for everyone" I always remember those words. M is now 18 and I have to say a lovely well rounded adult - still has issues with anxiety but I think he will always have but he copes most of the time.

All parents that are going through this think it will never end - gosh I did I thought it would go on forever but it doesn't and you will get there one way or another I promise.

Thinking of you all Sarah xx

Thank you so much for your encouraging words Sarah (nice to hear from you again : )
So nice to hear that m is going ok still - and I know how you used to feel....hard to believe he is 18 now : )
Wish him and yourself and your other son well : )
Thanks also Virginia and Sleepless in Seattle.

Even though I have been going through this for years - there are still times when I get knocked flat.

We are taking tours of two others schools on Friday - one has 500 kids and the other 200. One is private and one public. The public one is out of our zone - so not sure how that will go.

My son was in ok spirits for most of yesterday but last night he just refused to go to bed - and became agitated again and said he was tired of all this. It is certainly wearing and all I could do was give him a big hug and tell him I was on the road with him and it would get easier. From his point of view it hasn't yet - but we are hanging in there hoping it does. Changing schools does worry me - as I know the anxiety travels from school to school. But at the same time he just couldn't have continued at his other school - it was too big and perhaps the constant reminder of how he couldn't make it there was also a factor. A new school might last awhile but I know in the back of my mind that I don't want to hold any particular expectations - just take what comes. I hope I have been able to convey that to my son.

It is strange being in limbo and how you can just leave a school and they don't particularly care. His old school have marked him on the computer program that I can still access as having excited. I emailed all his teachers and thanked them and said good-bye. Only one replied. The coordinator is still in touch with me as I can't be 'not enrolled' as it is illegal. I am finding it hard to concentrate on much at the moment - so thinking of all of you who are in the same boat. I always try to stay positive as I know that nothing stays the same for long - but sometimes a low point can seem to go on for eternity!!

Pity for you Michelle in the US that the residential school is so expensive. Really not fair as it means so many can't access this. My son was very affected by Robin Williams death. I think he saw parts of himself in the actor's suffering. I explained to him, however, that we know nothing about any support he had as a teenager or early adulthood. What more can you say when a high profile person takes their life when the seem to have it all - and yet suffered depression and other mental health issues.

Take care everyone
Linda

We meet with the assistant principal on the new school on Monday. My son is naturally increasingly nervous.
Last night he woke me at 2am to tell me he couldn't sleep and he was a failure and he couldn't remember when he was ever really happy. We talked...and he improved his thoughts but then irrationally decided that staying up all night would mean he would not sleep in next day as he'd be awake??!! No amount of talking him around would change his mind. He assured me he would do nothing 'stupid' as he hated the sight of blood.

I was dead tired so had to just fall asleep again myself. At 7am he woke me and said he'd stayed awake all night and would i watch something on the iPad with him. I wasn't about to face the morning. Later when I got up - he was fast asleep and at midday still is. It is tiring when they are not in a good place in their mind. But this is kind of 'normal' for us - so we just kind of plod along and crawl over the bumps!!

A friend of mine whose son is now taking the same medication, on the other hand, went drastically downhill and is now in an adolescent psychiatric unit at the hospital. He is only 14. He was running away and self harming and the last self harm was really awful.

My gut feeling is that while I know her son was feeling suicidal - I wonder about the medication. One of the side effects when first taking some of this medication is suicidal thoughts , possible self harm and so forth. He just seems to have gone downhill so quickly - four weeks - since taking the medication.
Has anyone else had issues with Luvox (Fluvoxamine)?
For my son - I just don't feel it works - but maybe if he wasn't on it - he'd be worse.

Take care everyone
Linda

Hi Linda - sorry to hear your son is not doing well. T did try Luvox at one stage - didn't have any bad side affects but didn't help either. My doctors first anti-depressant for children/adolescents is lovan (Prozac) and this is what T did well on the first few years. My 20yo daughter has recently had a bit of a breakdown - has been coming for a while with anxiety related issues and finally came to a head when uni semester went back. So off to the doctor we went and he didn't hesitate with our family history to start her on medication (Lovan) and booked her straight in for psychologist appointments. She was at the stage of not eating or talking and staying in bed all day - almost 2 weeks later she is pretty much back to her old self. She did feel awful for first couple of days but nothing too sinister. We are hopeful she will only need to be on it for 6 months and with the counselling get her back on track. T has been on Escitalopram for the last couple of years and still doing well - have halved her dosage and still doing well. Over the years I have worked out if a medication is not showing positive effects within the recommended time frame or stops working, we are straight back to the doctor for either a dosage adjustment or change. Interestingly some recent research I was reading about indicated that some people do better on a lower dose that the recommended one, especially for anxiety disorders. Thinking of you both and also hope your friend's son improves in care. xx