HI Sue

Gosh it must be hard with two of your children refusing to go!? My heart goes out to you.

Simon has given you some good advice - for now - and for the future.
I think getting in touch with the school and finding a staff member who does seem to understand, can help.
Don't let them lay the blame at your feet though - they will try to - they don't know what else to do. But keep your head up high - you are doing all you can in very trying circumstances.

Do you think the home issues are still perhaps impacting on one or more of your children and then they are influencing each other with their emotions about getting to school? Not knowing the situation - I can't guess where they might be coming from - but is it possible they might also be going through a kind of 'separation anxiety' due to recent issues that you have had?

The sooner you can find some help via the school - the better. As Simon has suggested - write down all that you want to ask the school - and want them to do - and the kind of help that you feel is needed. Can your children get some counselling via the school? Can they be referred to camhs? Can you afford any outside support for yourself?
You will need to stay strong - so finding counselling for yourself - and also an interest that can take you outside of the worry each week - will really help in the long term.
I used to cry each day - watching the other kids go to school walk past my front window....it tears your heart out, doesn't it... But.....there comes a point where we can embrace our children where they are - understand that their school path might not be a straight one - and then find all the help we can for them. You may, as I have noted above, find that it is one of your children, more than the other, who is feeling this way. Have they expressed any reason themselves? Often they cannot pin point anything - it is just a feeling.

My son's anxiety was described at primer school as being a kind of separation anxiety (even though he had never had this before then). It was more his fear that something might happen to me or him - . But as he had what was then diagnosed as 'generalised anxiety' this kind of morphed into social anxiety by the time he reached high school. My feeling is that it is anxiety and a tendency to depression (probably one causes the other) and that this makes the school environment very challenging. My son had school refusal from primary and still at high school age.
For some kids the right help will enable them to re-engage with school -especially if you can get the right help early enough. Others might continue to have hiccups along the way - and others might not be able to attend the 'normal
school but have to be educated by other means. Don't worry about that at the moment - the main thing is to get help for them and you right now - and then when you are all in a less heightened stress state - see where things might be able to move forward. It is tiny steps - no matter what the reason behind the refusal - and all small steps are good.
Embrace your children and let them know you know they can't help how they are feeling right now - and let them know you are doing all you can to get help to make them feel much better about everything.

Come on here any time - you are never alone - and we really understand what you are going through.
Let us know how you go in the next week and ask advice at any time. We can't say we have miracle cures and answers - but many can offer advice on what worked best for them.
Take care - go and make yourself a cuppa and think of something nice you can do just for yourself today : )
Linda