Hi Kathy

Sorry to hear how things are at the moment. how old is your son? Mine is 15 and I'm on my own too - I think it makes our work twice as hard and especially when you have other children.
What does the school do to support your son or yourself? Is your son going to school at all or only sometimes?

Whilst most anxiety disorders involve constantly facing your fears until they break down - it is much harder with school refusal as it involves numerous things throughout the day. The unpredictable nature of school itself is the aspect that our kids find hard to face. Sometimes it helps to break the day down for awhile into manageable parts - so if your son has been away for awhile he can go back as a staggered start. With some kids this doesn't work so well - but having the flexibility of coming home before the end of the day in itself can help them get through the day.

When did this first start happening with your son? Was there any bullying or did it just happen?
If you have read any of my posts you will see I have been on the road for a very long time and I am not sure if there was anything specific I could have done to have got my son back on track earlier as it takes maturity for them to accept they have an anxiety problem/disorder and then to try and manage it.

The program I mentioned in another post that was on the Australian SBS Insight Program is very positive about the road forward. If you get a chance - see if you can watch it on-line or even via YouTube.

Also - all small steps are good. It is a process of small steps and lots of praise and trying to get your son to face other fears outside of school to gain some confidence and self esteem. Does he have friends? Can he engage with these outside of school? If not - does he have any friends on-line? My son went through a bad patch and his on-line friends actually were there for him during that time even though I initially was very frustrated that he was on the computer a lot.

Hang in there - you are doing all you can at the moment. Embrace your son where he is now - he can't help how he feels and is probably feeling awful about everything that seems out of his control. Not only do they have the teenage issues floating about but they have the anxiety to deal with. Acceptance on your part and their part is a step forward in itself.
Depending on how old your son is - it is then a maturity process that helps them to move forward. Things like cognitive behaviour therapy, mindfulness (living in the moment) all help and sometimes you have to learn about these things yourself and guide your son. It is a really frustrating time - and my heart goes out to you - but we have some good stories on the forum of those who have made it out the other side of school and are doing ok. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Document everything as you go - it really helps at meetings. Do things for yourself so you can remain strong. Take up a hobby or meet with friends regularly. And come on here any time - there is always someone here to help or to listen or to pour their own hear out. We all understand on here and it was this forum that saved me from despair several years ago.
Take care and stay in touch - let us know how the school is dealing with it -
Linda

Hi Linda - Tried to send you an e-mail - just wondered if you'd received it?

Regards