Hi Maureen

Sounds like it was a hard few years for you but so glad to hear that you feel your daughter was saved from suffering from mental health issues for life. Trying to manage the anxiety whilst being bombarded by triggers in a school environment must be a nightmare for most school refusing students. And managing it seems to be perhaps what your daughter was able to do at last, once the daily draining of self esteem was removed.
Hope things continue to go well for her - and you have done a great job to travel beside your daughter throughout all this.
Take care
Linda

Hi LouD
welcome. i'm sorry your daughter is going through such a tough time.

the other posters here have given excellent advice.
i'm not surprised at the lack of understanding and support from the school. that's fairly common.

if you've checked that she isn't refusing to go in due to bullying etc, then giving serious consideration to homeschooling is a step to consider.

i did my share of insisting and 'bringing' my daughter into school in her early teens and it was so upsetting and degrading for her i swore never again nor would i ever recommend it to anyone. it's not the way to go about it and schools should realise this too.

i hope you find the support you need to help your daughter.

do take care of yourself too, when dealing with SR you need every last ounce of energy you have.

take care

Virginia

Hi Virginia

Just curious about the Home Schooling and your daughter - did her motivation to complete school work improve greatly once school was removed? Was she keen to do the work?
I know I have mentioned on here how I don't think it possible to home school my son as he is an only child - and the other main concern is that he just has to be pushed so much to do school work - it drives me crazy. There is no motivation. So even though he gets to school on many occasions - he does not have the motivation or organisation to just get on with the school work to make up for the absences. And I wonder - would it all be different if the anxiety wasn't there? I guess I won't ever know - but I agree with you that this pushing/dragging to go to school is not the way - but sometimes there is no alternative.

Linda

Hi Linda
in answer to the question did my daughter's motivation increase with homeschooling, i'd say yes and no.

the yes is to do with the anxiety of worrying about school and going etc being taken away - that helped.

the no, she continued on working for a time, but we had a period where she got a bit fed up doing work at home and she was, of course, not concerned that it was only mom who was supervising. teachers seem to have a different effect on kids.

but that passed. it was probably just the novelty of being at home i guess.
when it did pass she went back to doing her work and she learned how to manage a lot of it herself and it encouraged self discipline.

having said that, she has that ability in her, always had. so while it might have worked for her, i realise it's not for everyone.

i was only glad to see the anxiety ebbing away and a happy, relaxed person emerge after so long.

hope your son is doing okay at the moment.

and a belated happy st patrick's day to all.