Hi Karen,
I haven't much to add to you're post but didn't want to read and run.I'm very new to school refusal and not sure at the moment what i'm dealing with as far as my sons concerned.This has all started for us,after the first term in year 7.
You sound like you are doing an amazing job with your daughter,i can't begin to imagine how hard it's been for the both of you.Sounds like you and her boyfriend have been her rock.
What's with these schools? I know some are better than others but i feel they all need educating more on school refusers.Because they don't seem to know a lot do they!!
We know our children better than anyone,so they need to listen to us more.
Linda on this forum is just an amazing lady,full of advice and always on board to listen,as are many of the other lovely users on here.I've felt very supported from people on here,and totally understand where u are coming from.
Keep us posted please,

Kelly.